Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 3052833 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31000 on: May 14, 2021, 09:38:02 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31001 on: May 14, 2021, 09:38:54 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31002 on: May 14, 2021, 09:52:41 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31003 on: May 14, 2021, 10:19:42 AM »
Chopper Read wrote a book called 'No Tears For A Tough Guy'


Should have named it 'No Ears - '
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31004 on: May 14, 2021, 11:26:51 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31005 on: May 14, 2021, 01:24:26 PM »
Davy Crocket had 3 ears.

Right ear, left ear, and the wild front ear.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31006 on: May 14, 2021, 01:27:20 PM »
A man went to the doctor...
He said, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"

The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks."

"I've never seen or heard anything like this before, how long has this been going on." The doctor asked.

"That's nothing Doc. put your ear to my knee."

The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say "Man, I really need 10 bucks, just lend me 10 bucks!!"

"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was dumbfounded.

"Wait Doc, that's not it. There's more, just put your ear up to my ankle," the man urged him.

The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 bucks. Lend me 5 bucks please if you can."

I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing about it in my books," he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books.

"I can make a well educated guess though. Based on life and all my previous experience I can tell you that your leg appears to be broke in three places."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31007 on: May 14, 2021, 01:29:35 PM »
A hot single woman wants a strong relationship
She makes a post on a dating site saying that she is looking for a nice guy who wont hit her, wont run away, and is good in bed. A week later, her doorbell rings. She opens the door, looks down and sees a guy with no arms and legs in front of her .he lady is confused and asks the guy who is he and why is he here.

The guy says: "I saw that post you made a week ago, and I thought I will be the perfect one for you."

The woman laughed and asked: "Oh, really? Well how so?"

The guy explains: "I wont beat you because I have no arms, and I wont run away because I don't have any legs."

The woman says: "I see...But what makes you think you are good in bed?"

The guy replied: "Rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31008 on: May 14, 2021, 01:39:42 PM »
There are judges for different religions, and they are categorized alphabetically.

Judge Atheist A,
Judge Buddhist B,
Judge Christian C and...
Judge Jew D.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31009 on: May 14, 2021, 01:43:29 PM »
I recently travelled to New Zealand.

Everyone there really likes pointing out your religion...

...they kept calling me 'Hebrew!'.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31010 on: May 14, 2021, 01:46:21 PM »
My religion is Euphemism.

I worship Gosh and his son Gee Whiz, so I won't be darned to heck.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31011 on: May 14, 2021, 01:49:04 PM »
Why did Dr Frankenstein create his monster so strong?

He was a professional body builder
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31012 on: May 14, 2021, 01:54:05 PM »
An atheist became incensed over Christmas holiday preparations.
He filed a lawsuit about the constant celebrations given to Christians and Jews while atheists had no holiday to celebrate. The case was brought before a judge.

After listening to the long, passionate presentation by the atheist's lawyer, the judge banged his gavel and declared, "Case dismissed! "The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling. "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter, and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur, and Hanukkah. Yet, my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!"
The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, "Obviously, your client is too confused to know about, much less celebrate, his own atheist holiday!"
The lawyer pompously said, "Your honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be?"
The judge replied, "Well, it comes every year on exactly the same date. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, if your client says there is no God then, according to the Bible, he is a fool.
April Fool's Day is his holiday. Now, get out of my courtroom!"

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31013 on: May 14, 2021, 02:06:46 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31014 on: May 14, 2021, 02:07:25 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31015 on: May 14, 2021, 02:08:21 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31016 on: May 14, 2021, 02:08:57 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31017 on: May 14, 2021, 02:51:07 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31018 on: May 14, 2021, 02:51:48 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31019 on: May 14, 2021, 02:52:52 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31020 on: May 14, 2021, 02:54:03 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31021 on: May 14, 2021, 02:59:11 PM »
The quarantine has ruined many marriages but mine is still going strong.

Just the other day I woke up to my beautiful and loving wife holding a pillow tightly over my face to protect me from the coronavirus.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31022 on: May 14, 2021, 03:14:40 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31023 on: May 14, 2021, 04:16:29 PM »
"Microsoft 365, guaranteed to drive you mad with TV advertising, multiple times per hour, every day of the year"

 :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #31024 on: May 14, 2021, 04:23:55 PM »
"Microsoft 365, guaranteed to drive you mad with TV advertising, multiple times per hour, every day of the year"

 :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon
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