Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 3069109 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34675 on: July 30, 2021, 12:06:26 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34676 on: July 30, 2021, 12:08:05 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34677 on: July 30, 2021, 12:10:24 AM »

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34678 on: July 30, 2021, 12:33:19 AM »
Three cheers for good old Internet Explorer, late again!

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Offline Brock

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34679 on: July 30, 2021, 12:37:38 AM »
Quote
So true, hey Brock?

Very true, except for mail/package deliveries. My Pug goes into Rotty Pack mode then.
Brock
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34680 on: July 30, 2021, 12:39:08 AM »
 :thumb
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34681 on: July 30, 2021, 01:21:50 AM »
"Hey, Dracula! You've got something stuck in your teeth."

"Where, here?"

"No ..."

"Here?"

"No, take a look in the mirror ... "

"Take a look in the WHAT???"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34682 on: July 30, 2021, 01:36:47 AM »
Click pic to enlarge for easier reading of text.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34683 on: July 30, 2021, 01:52:23 AM »
A guy walks into a bar in Texas and orders a white wine.
Everyone sitting around the bar looks up, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee queer.
The bartender looks up and says, "You ain't from around here, are Ya?? Where Ya from' boy?"
The guy says' "I'm from Iowa."
The bartender asks, "What the heck you do in Iowa?"
The guy responds, I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, " A taxidermist? Now just what the heck is a taxidermist?"
The guy says nervously, " I mount animals."
 The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, " It's okay boys, he's one of us!"

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34684 on: July 30, 2021, 01:54:57 AM »
Pimps and farmers both need a hoe to stay in business.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34685 on: July 30, 2021, 01:57:39 AM »
If you force sex on a prostitute, is it rape or shoplifting?

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34686 on: July 30, 2021, 01:58:12 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34687 on: July 30, 2021, 02:02:28 AM »
Two rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean, they spend a fortune!

The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a damn good thing we didn't catch any more!"

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34688 on: July 30, 2021, 02:05:18 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34689 on: July 30, 2021, 06:24:44 AM »
One Sunday a cowboy went to church.

When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present.
The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.
The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."
 
So the minister began his sermon. One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours.
The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon.
The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure as hell wouldn't waste ALL the hay on him ..."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34690 on: July 30, 2021, 06:27:05 AM »
Me: "I know a gay guy that sounds like an owl !"

Friend: "Who ?"

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34691 on: July 30, 2021, 06:29:56 AM »
What has two wings and a halo?

A Chinese telephone.... ( Wing, wing, .. 'alo?")

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34692 on: July 30, 2021, 06:32:04 AM »
Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid?

He claims he could stop anytime.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34693 on: July 30, 2021, 06:36:24 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34694 on: July 30, 2021, 06:38:33 AM »
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.

A fake name and a fake phone number.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34695 on: July 30, 2021, 06:43:34 AM »
A Chinese guy has problems with his eyes so he goes to an eye doctor.

The optometrist tests him and says "I know what the problem is, you have a cataract."

The Chinese guy says "But I not have cataract, I drive Rincon Continantal?"

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34696 on: July 30, 2021, 06:45:29 AM »
The biggest difference between men and women, is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34697 on: July 30, 2021, 12:15:45 PM »
Another Southern Right whale spotted in the bay 10 minutes ago, north of Portland near Narrawong.
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Online West Aussie Glen

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34698 on: July 30, 2021, 12:38:19 PM »
A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. Unfortunately, the wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early enough, decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little touch here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished...Naturally, (since he was her husband.)
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed. So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behaviour.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had. He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
"Did you dance much ?"
"You know, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Browning and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to."
Glen
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #34699 on: July 30, 2021, 04:30:30 PM »
 :rofl Thanks, Glen.  :thumbs
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