Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 626721 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30575 on: May 05, 2021, 10:57:28 AM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
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Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30576 on: May 05, 2021, 10:59:27 AM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30577 on: May 05, 2021, 10:59:51 AM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30578 on: May 05, 2021, 11:00:53 AM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30579 on: May 05, 2021, 11:01:48 AM »
Social distancing gone mad?

*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30580 on: May 05, 2021, 11:02:27 AM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30581 on: May 05, 2021, 11:03:21 AM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30582 on: May 05, 2021, 11:10:51 AM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30583 on: May 05, 2021, 11:11:23 AM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30585 on: May 05, 2021, 01:54:18 PM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30586 on: May 05, 2021, 04:15:15 PM »
I'm single.

I often think about my future wife, and how lax she's been about getting in touch with me.

*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30587 on: May 05, 2021, 04:29:07 PM »
I love my furniture!

Me and my recliner go way back
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30588 on: May 05, 2021, 04:31:00 PM »
A friend of mine works making furniture.

He fell into the upholstery machine. Had some minor injuries, but he's recovered now.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30589 on: May 05, 2021, 04:59:19 PM »
How do you determine the volume of a pizza?
Well, it’s basically a very flat cylinder. Let’s give it a random radius “z” and an arbitrary height “a”.

The volume of a cylinder is 3.14 x radius squared x height.

(Pi)(z)(z)(a)
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30590 on: May 05, 2021, 05:01:45 PM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30591 on: May 05, 2021, 05:06:00 PM »
I guess lane filtering is out?
(He's on L plates)

*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30592 on: May 05, 2021, 05:57:22 PM »
The man looked a little worried when the doctor came in to administer his annual physical, so the first thing the doctor did was to ask whether anything was troubling him.

"Well, to tell the truth, Doc, yes," answered the patient. "You see, I seem to be getting forgetful. I'm never sure I can remember where I put the car, or whether I answered a letter, or where I'm going, or what it is I'm going to do once I get there -- if I get there. So, I really need your help. What can I do?"

The doctor mused for a moment, then answered in his kindest tone, "Pay me in advance."

*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30593 on: May 05, 2021, 06:20:21 PM »
The salesman at the furniture store told me....
"This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”

I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30594 on: May 05, 2021, 06:29:44 PM »
There was a Nun who volunteered at a hospital, and since she had her doctorate and medical license, the hospital allowed her to prescribe medications.

In fact, she took great joy in being able to provide prescriptions immediately, and so modified one of her uniforms to start carrying some of the more common medications and equipment.

Over time, she ended up adding more and more pockets and loops and cargo spaces.
Eventually, it amounted to quite a lot of weight, as she was carrying a small pharmacy.

One day, one of the elderly inpatients complained that her walking aid was missing?
After a little investigation, it was discovered that the Nun was using it to help bear with the weight of her clothes!

The only thing the hospital staff could talk about for the next week, was that the Nun had resorted to stealing to support her drug habit.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30595 on: May 05, 2021, 06:49:21 PM »
Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris, he visited some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home.

To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.
As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which Murphy could not understand).
So he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down.

He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language.
After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her.
She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.
They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music.

They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.
She nodded, and they got up to dance.
They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Murphy still has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business?
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30596 on: May 05, 2021, 06:53:47 PM »
What's the difference between a length of pipe, and a pale Dutchman?

One's a hollow cylinder, and the other's a sallow Hollander.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30597 on: May 05, 2021, 10:14:55 PM »
SCUBA is an acronym for "Self contained underwater breathing apparatus".

Tuba is also an acronym.
It stands for "Terrible underwater breathing apparatus"
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30598 on: May 05, 2021, 10:16:43 PM »
A stupid anti-masker died yesterday.

He went scuba diving.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960 
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30599 on: May 05, 2021, 10:20:51 PM »
I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving...

One day I lobster and never flounder again.


Also, I had a man ta ray conversation with a stingray.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
http://ozstoc.com/index.php?topic=2651.msg112526#msg112526
Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960