Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3059560 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34900 on:** August 03, 2021, 06:56:37 PM »

Now THIS is maintaining full concentration for the job in hand ...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34901 on:** August 03, 2021, 07:01:06 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34902 on:** August 03, 2021, 07:02:55 PM »

Patrick Swayze has agreed to make a sequel to Ghost.

They start filming tomorrow.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34903 on:** August 03, 2021, 07:07:20 PM »

There's a new blonde paint available.

It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.

Wild Rose · « **Reply #34904 on:** August 03, 2021, 07:22:03 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on August 03, 2021, 04:12:07 PM

Purely a joke, Leo.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34905 on:** August 03, 2021, 07:32:08 PM »

Put a wig on a dog, and scare the bejeezus out of the postman.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34906 on:** August 03, 2021, 08:45:53 PM »

So there's an Amazon River now? What's next? Lake Facebook? Mount Paypal?
How did Amazon manage to name a whole river in South America after them? Did they pay the governments of all the countries it flows through, for the naming rights?

What was the river's name before Amazon bought the naming rights to the river?

And how long will it be before there are other natural features named after world-class companies? (Like Microsoft Plains, The Reddit Sea, Instagram Peak, etc.?)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34907 on:** August 03, 2021, 09:00:49 PM »

Every 4th of July, America sends Britain a locket, with a little tiny picture of the United States in it.

They want to remind the Crown that America is still...

In *da* pendent

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34908 on:** August 03, 2021, 09:17:40 PM »

Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide."

He told me that from now on, I have to pay in advance.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34909 on:** August 03, 2021, 09:21:11 PM »

I tell ya, my wife was never nice to me.

After our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - and she bent over!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34910 on:** August 03, 2021, 09:28:37 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34911 on:** August 03, 2021, 09:29:55 PM »

Ummmm .......... Maybe not!

Brock · « **Reply #34912 on:** August 03, 2021, 10:23:31 PM »

Quote

ScoMo has a new fitness program to get people walking again.

Petrol @ at $1.85/litre

Not so much a joke, petrol to hit $1.79 around Perth tomorrow..

Good thing I use Diesel, its $1.34 and then I have 4C off for RAC card.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34913 on:** August 03, 2021, 11:42:02 PM »

Ouch to that price, Brock.

How about $60 for 20 litres of 95 octane or E10 though? $2.91.9 cents a litre
Photo from Mckinlay, 100km SE from Cloncurry Qld during 2018.

(Was caused by flickering power which reset the pump prices)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34914 on:** August 04, 2021, 12:09:03 AM »

Where does a tiger sleep?

Anywhere it wants to!

(My cats think they are tigers)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34915 on:** August 04, 2021, 12:10:34 AM »

My wife and I were happy for twenty five years.

Then we met.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34916 on:** August 04, 2021, 12:11:43 AM »

My wife and I, we don't think alike.

She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34917 on:** August 04, 2021, 12:12:52 AM »

When I was 8, I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake?

He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34918 on:** August 04, 2021, 12:14:27 AM »

It's tough to stay married.

My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34919 on:** August 04, 2021, 12:17:34 AM »

I was tired one night, and I went to the bar to have a few drinks.

The bartender asked me, "What'll you have?"

I said, "Surprise me."

He showed me a naked picture of my wife.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34920 on:** August 04, 2021, 02:11:28 AM »

I was wheeling my shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when I noticed an old lady struggling with her trolley.

I stopped and asked, "Can you manage this trolley, dear?"

To which the old lady replied, "No way! you got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to help you out!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34921 on:** August 04, 2021, 02:41:24 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34922 on:** August 04, 2021, 05:12:45 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34923 on:** August 04, 2021, 05:13:31 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34924 on:** August 04, 2021, 05:18:46 AM »

click on image to enlarge for finer detail.

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Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3059560 times)