Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3059760 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34976 on:** August 05, 2021, 07:43:08 AM »

I drank some boiling water 'cause I wanted to whistle.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34977 on:** August 05, 2021, 07:43:42 AM »

... seems 'armless enough?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34978 on:** August 05, 2021, 07:44:48 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34979 on:** August 05, 2021, 07:45:32 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34980 on:** August 05, 2021, 07:50:12 AM »

A drunk put a coin into a parking meter, the dial goes to 60.

The drunk says, "Huh!! I lost 50 kilos?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34981 on:** August 05, 2021, 07:51:11 AM »

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34982 on:** August 05, 2021, 08:08:02 AM »

What a Hoot!

NTRebel · « **Reply #34983 on:** August 05, 2021, 08:31:09 AM »

3.8 feels like 0.4 here.

Quote from: Wild Rose on August 05, 2021, 05:55:37 AM

4.5° here in Toowoomba. Feels like -2.9°

Quote from: Kev Murphy on August 05, 2021, 07:36:25 AM

Sorta a bit warmer here this morning Leo. 11 degrees, feels like 6. Only 1.5mm of rain since 9am yesterday.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34984 on:** August 05, 2021, 11:11:26 AM »

Has been 4mm of rain here overnight, but only light passing showers since 9am.
Not enough to register in the gauge.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34985 on:** August 05, 2021, 11:43:38 AM »

My fake plants died, because I forgot to pretend to water them.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34986 on:** August 05, 2021, 11:52:12 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34987 on:** August 05, 2021, 11:53:01 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34988 on:** August 05, 2021, 11:53:45 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34989 on:** August 05, 2021, 11:54:19 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34990 on:** August 05, 2021, 02:08:12 PM »

I have a problem with authority.

Nobody does what I tell them

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34991 on:** August 05, 2021, 03:01:32 PM »

My wife told me she keeps forgetting the word for taking possession of something without authority...
I told her, "It's common, dear".

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34992 on:** August 05, 2021, 04:28:22 PM »

Just got word that Victoria is shut down again for another 7 days.

Brock · « **Reply #34993 on:** August 05, 2021, 04:52:23 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34994 on:** August 05, 2021, 05:31:05 PM »

I got an award for being a #1 couch potato.

A trophy. Muscular dystrophy, to be precise.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34995 on:** August 05, 2021, 05:56:42 PM »

Of people like me, whose job requires me to enter someone else's house, (electrician), the weirdest thing I've ever seen at a customer's house?

My wife.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34996 on:** August 05, 2021, 06:41:47 PM »

During a business meeting yesterday, someone asked me about my background. So I told him about my education, career, family, hopes and dreams.
Turns out he was asking about what was behind me on our Zoom call.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34997 on:** August 05, 2021, 06:42:13 PM »

I call my wife Bambi, she thinks it's because she is cute with big brown eyes.
But in reality I just hope someone shoots her mother with a hunting rifle.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34998 on:** August 05, 2021, 06:49:42 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34999 on:** August 05, 2021, 06:53:47 PM »

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3059760 times)