Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 5865566 times)

Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35075 on: August 07, 2021, 06:56:12 PM »
She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face, and she has a wash and wear bridal gown.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35076 on: August 07, 2021, 06:58:37 PM »
During a blackout, an Irishman was stuck on an escalator for two hours.

I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?"

He said, "Because I was going up to the next level!"

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35077 on: August 07, 2021, 07:42:58 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35078 on: August 07, 2021, 08:07:27 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35079 on: August 07, 2021, 08:21:04 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35080 on: August 07, 2021, 08:35:40 PM »
The Russian Agency of Research and Automation has been commissioned by Putin to develop a new robot to make gloves for the pandemic that are superior to all others.

They have named it in his honour.
It's called RARA's grasp-Putin, Russia's greatest glove machine.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35081 on: August 07, 2021, 08:38:39 PM »
I am amazed by how many skinny, breast less women are in the Olympics?
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35082 on: August 07, 2021, 08:50:17 PM »
Agency: "Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements.
How do you want their placements, sir?"

Managing Director: "Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room and close the door, leave them alone and come back after a few hours and analyse the situation:

1. If they are counting the bricks, put them in Accounts department.

2. If they are recounting the bricks, put them in Auditing.

3. If they messed up the whole room with the bricks, put them in Engineering.

4. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.

5. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.

6. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.

7. If they broke the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.

8. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.

9. If they say they have tried different combinations yet not a single brick has been moved, put them in Sales.

10. If they have already left for the day, Put them in Marketing.

11. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.

And...

12. If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been touched, Congratulate them and put them in Top Management.
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Offline Brock

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35083 on: August 07, 2021, 09:23:55 PM »
Needs a good wringing out Kev, just like mine. Havent been able to ride for about 4 months. Had surgery on my left hand to fix Carpel Tunnel..
Brock
Asian Correspondent
2003 Honda ST1100PY



Ulysses #32829
STOC #8239
OzSToc # ??
Kinross WA
 
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35084 on: August 07, 2021, 09:26:22 PM »
Hope the recovery is coming on well Brock.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35085 on: August 07, 2021, 09:29:45 PM »
Hopefully we'll be out of lockdown for RTE ride in 3 weeks, and be able to actually reach Hwy speeds for the first time in several months.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35086 on: August 07, 2021, 09:56:33 PM »
I have assembled my new supa computer, but have not ironed out all the wrinkles yet, main one at the moment is no sound. Hoboy it's fast! Can download a movie in around 7 minutes, and then convert it to mp4 in another 10 minutes. Old computer that died used to take around 50 minutes, and this slow laptop that was loaned to me took more than 5 hours. Burning a dvd is also a surprise, as it now only takes around ten minutes compared to around 40 minutes or more. CPU with 8 dual cores and 16 threads sure helps.

 :runyay
« Last Edit: August 07, 2021, 10:03:29 PM by Kev Murphy »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35087 on: August 07, 2021, 10:08:08 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35088 on: August 08, 2021, 12:03:47 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35089 on: August 08, 2021, 12:05:22 AM »
A blonde bought a zebra for a pet.

She named it Spot.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35090 on: August 08, 2021, 12:06:38 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35091 on: August 08, 2021, 12:08:45 AM »
A Irishman locked his keys in the car.

It took him an hour to get his wife out.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35092 on: August 08, 2021, 12:09:25 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35093 on: August 08, 2021, 12:11:11 AM »
I was walking by a dry cleaner at 3 a.m., and it said "Sorry, we're closed." You don't have to be sorry.
It's 3 a.m., and you're a dry cleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open.

I'm not gonna walk by at ten a.m. and say, "Hey, I walked by at three, you guys were closed.
Someone owes me an apology. This jacket would be halfway done!"

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35094 on: August 08, 2021, 12:13:58 AM »
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams.

I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35095 on: August 08, 2021, 12:14:33 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35096 on: August 08, 2021, 12:16:17 AM »
I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years.

If my wife every finds out, I'm dead!

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35097 on: August 08, 2021, 12:18:38 AM »
I had a piece of Carefree Sugarless gum and I was still worried. It never kicked in.

I took it back to the store and said "Bullshit!"

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35098 on: August 08, 2021, 12:19:01 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35099 on: August 08, 2021, 12:21:12 AM »
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.
Twice a week, we go to a nice restaurant, great service, a little wine, good food.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Saturdays.

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