Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 5862125 times)

Online ruSTynutz

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35750 on: August 23, 2021, 12:48:32 PM »


Those exercises were a great help, Kev!  :thumbs

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35751 on: August 23, 2021, 01:38:22 PM »
1.30pm Portland. Rain and hail belting down here at present. 8.4 degrees, feels like 2.8
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35752 on: August 23, 2021, 01:58:31 PM »
During a military training session, a General with a stern tone addresses a group of young cadets.

"If you are captured by the enemy, and a beautiful woman walks into the room, the best thing to do is to keep your mouth shut."

Someone from the back of the room asks, "What's the second best thing to do?"
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Online Wild Rose

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35753 on: August 23, 2021, 02:08:56 PM »


Those exercises were a great help, Kev!  :thumbs

I did them twice because I wasn’t sure if I did them right the first time
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35754 on: August 23, 2021, 02:10:09 PM »
 :grin
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35755 on: August 23, 2021, 02:15:32 PM »
I’m so glad # is not called 'pound' anymore.

Otherwise, the #metoo movement would be sending the wrong message.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35756 on: August 23, 2021, 02:42:12 PM »
2.40pm. Rain/hail measured around 4mm for that earlier burst. Damn cold outside.

Temperature    9.0°C   
Feels Like      -0.2°C
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35757 on: August 23, 2021, 02:51:12 PM »
The 5th grade math teacher, posed the following problem to one of her classes:

"A wealthy man dies, and leaves ten million dollars.
One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity.
Now, what does each get?"

After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Mikey raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Mikey for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Mikey answered, "A lawyer!"

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35758 on: August 23, 2021, 05:22:27 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35759 on: August 23, 2021, 05:32:20 PM »
Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each...
The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers; "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."

The villagers rounded up with all their savings, and bought all the monkeys.

They never saw the man nor his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!

Now you have a better understanding of how the cryptocurrency market works.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35760 on: August 23, 2021, 06:13:01 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35761 on: August 23, 2021, 06:19:05 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35762 on: August 23, 2021, 08:13:22 PM »
A cold zap tonight. 8pm, 9degrees, feels like 0.03degrees. Has been around 5mm of rain/hail today.

Who needs a lockdown to force us to stay at home?
I am happy to stay inside next to the heater with my cats.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35763 on: August 23, 2021, 08:21:56 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35764 on: August 23, 2021, 08:24:01 PM »
Girls get home from a long day at work and instantly take off all their makeup......

I call that a 9 to 5.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35765 on: August 23, 2021, 08:32:50 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35766 on: August 23, 2021, 08:41:38 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35767 on: August 23, 2021, 09:07:52 PM »
A villager reaches the doctor's clinic looking very despondent.

Doc: What are you here for?

Villager: A vasectomy.

D: Oh OK. How many kids do you have?

V: None. I am not even married!!

D (shocked): Then why do you want a vasectomy?

V: Every other man in the village got it done over the last few years. Now whenever their wives conceive, they come and beat me up.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35768 on: August 23, 2021, 09:18:09 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35769 on: August 23, 2021, 09:49:18 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35770 on: August 23, 2021, 10:36:54 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35771 on: August 23, 2021, 11:08:17 PM »
In the 80's we used to think that in 2020 we'll have flying cars, cities on other planets, blah blah blah....

But No! Here we are, teaching people how to wash their hands !!!
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35772 on: August 23, 2021, 11:33:21 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35773 on: August 23, 2021, 11:44:13 PM »
I had a rectal exam today and it hurt like hell!

I told the doctor to take off his ring.

He said, "Ring? That's my watch!"
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35774 on: August 24, 2021, 12:57:16 AM »
"Your honor," a defense attorney began, "I have a series of witnesses that can testify that Mr. Johnson was nowhere near the scene of the crime when it occurred."

The judge looked at the defense table and said, "This is the third time you've been in this court room this week, and I'm getting sick of hearing your lies."

The defendant stood up with a confused expression and said, "Your honor, you must be mistaken. I've never been here in my life?"

Waving his finger, the judge replied, "I was referring to your lawyer."
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