Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 5861854 times)

Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35775 on: August 24, 2021, 01:54:42 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35776 on: August 24, 2021, 02:02:49 AM »
"Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?"

"Because he was argumentary and he couldn’t pronunciate his words."

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35777 on: August 24, 2021, 02:18:06 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35778 on: August 24, 2021, 10:03:38 AM »
As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.


Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of a Senior Master Sergeant is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken SMS leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.


Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.


As the Senior Master Sergeant slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. "Excuse me, Sir," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"


The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35779 on: August 24, 2021, 10:17:41 AM »
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.

A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a pound of M&M chocolate covered peanuts.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35780 on: August 24, 2021, 10:20:02 AM »
A plane takes off after a two hour delay.

Once airborne, a passenger asked the flight attendant:
"Why did we take off so late?"

To which the flight attendant replied:

"Well the pilot noticed some smoke and weird noises coming from the left engine, and it took us a while to find another pilot willing to fly this plane."
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35781 on: August 24, 2021, 02:54:18 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35782 on: August 24, 2021, 03:07:53 PM »
Many nights I just sit here, staring at my TV.

It hasn't worked for around 3 years, maybe it's time I threw it out?
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35783 on: August 24, 2021, 03:41:38 PM »
It's gone, trash collection tonight.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35784 on: August 24, 2021, 03:50:46 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35785 on: August 24, 2021, 03:51:23 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35786 on: August 24, 2021, 03:52:19 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35787 on: August 24, 2021, 04:08:59 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35788 on: August 24, 2021, 04:11:04 PM »
Two men are drinking at a bar all night.
Finally, one man says to the other, “I hate to break up the fun, but I’ve got to go home and take off my wife’s underwear.”

The other man replies, “What makes you think you’ll be so lucky?”

The first man replies while walking out the door, “Because they’ve been riding up my butt all night, and I’ve had enough.”
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35789 on: August 24, 2021, 04:49:53 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35790 on: August 24, 2021, 04:55:44 PM »
Many nights I just sit here, staring at my TV.

It hasn't worked for around 3 years, maybe it's time I threw it out?

I thought this was a joke, Kev...I was waiting for the punchline!  :p

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Online NTRebel

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35791 on: August 24, 2021, 04:59:25 PM »
I need her dog when I go to the supermarkets up here.



I'm not strange i'm just not normal {Salvador Dahli}
 
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35792 on: August 24, 2021, 05:03:24 PM »
No joke Russ, for real.

« Last Edit: August 24, 2021, 05:21:23 PM by Kev Murphy »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35793 on: August 24, 2021, 05:34:47 PM »
Doing well with PureProfile paid surveys this month, still 7 days to go.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35794 on: August 24, 2021, 05:54:59 PM »
Odd sprinkles of rain here all day, only 1mm in total, but in frequent splashes.

Max of 13 degrees today, currently 10 but only feels like half that.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35795 on: August 24, 2021, 05:57:28 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35796 on: August 24, 2021, 06:14:20 PM »
No joke Russ, for real.



Lucky it fits in the bin, Kev!
Otherwise you'd have to pay to dispose of it at the tip...

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Offline Brock

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35797 on: August 24, 2021, 07:20:49 PM »
Quote
Lucky it fits in the bin, Kev!
Otherwise you'd have to pay to dispose of it at the tip...

Not in the west of Oz, you can take the TV to the tip and put into the electronic goods pile. It will go off for recycling. Can do it with Fridges, stoves and such forth as well..
Brock
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35798 on: August 24, 2021, 07:39:09 PM »
Have to pay for disposal in Vic, Brock.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #35799 on: August 24, 2021, 07:39:41 PM »
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