Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 5862675 times)

Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36200 on: September 03, 2021, 06:06:23 PM »
Summer vacation was over and Little Johnny returned back to school.
Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.
"Wait just a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved!; couldn't you show me the same courtesy?"

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36201 on: September 03, 2021, 06:06:57 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36202 on: September 03, 2021, 06:24:37 PM »
Honolulu, it's got everything.

Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36203 on: September 03, 2021, 06:37:16 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36204 on: September 03, 2021, 06:39:41 PM »
There's a topless lady ventriloquist

- Nobody has ever seen her lips move!

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36205 on: September 03, 2021, 06:56:13 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36206 on: September 03, 2021, 07:05:19 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36207 on: September 03, 2021, 09:13:14 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36208 on: September 03, 2021, 09:16:45 PM »
I'm in great mood tonight, because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite.

........ one jar.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36209 on: September 03, 2021, 09:17:17 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36210 on: September 03, 2021, 09:23:31 PM »
I did this yesterday...

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36211 on: September 03, 2021, 09:25:03 PM »
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36212 on: September 03, 2021, 09:26:42 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36213 on: September 03, 2021, 09:29:40 PM »
Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit;

Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36214 on: September 03, 2021, 09:31:12 PM »
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36215 on: September 03, 2021, 09:42:40 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36216 on: September 03, 2021, 09:49:46 PM »
I went to the paper shop today  - but it had blown away.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36217 on: September 03, 2021, 09:53:11 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36218 on: September 03, 2021, 11:34:01 PM »
I bought some HP sauce the other day.

It's costing me 8 cents a month for the next 2 years.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36219 on: September 03, 2021, 11:35:23 PM »
I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can’t get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36220 on: September 03, 2021, 11:39:51 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36221 on: September 03, 2021, 11:42:32 PM »
I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36222 on: September 04, 2021, 12:04:58 AM »
And just like that, it's the weekend again already.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36223 on: September 04, 2021, 12:05:24 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36224 on: September 04, 2021, 12:13:01 AM »
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