Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 5863237 times)

Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36325 on: September 08, 2021, 08:24:12 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36326 on: September 08, 2021, 08:26:26 PM »
Some people are athletic, and others, mmmm??
I've seen drunks perform better.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36327 on: September 08, 2021, 09:12:59 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36328 on: September 08, 2021, 09:24:15 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36329 on: September 08, 2021, 09:29:18 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36330 on: September 08, 2021, 09:46:17 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36331 on: September 08, 2021, 09:58:12 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36332 on: September 08, 2021, 10:00:31 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36333 on: September 08, 2021, 10:02:31 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36334 on: September 08, 2021, 11:58:38 PM »
I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.

Lots of women act like ducks, too.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36335 on: September 09, 2021, 05:03:21 AM »
My wife left me this morning.
She said that I never communicate with her properly, or let her know how I feel about things.

I didn’t know what to say.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36336 on: September 09, 2021, 05:07:48 AM »
The Prague Skydiving club couldn't afford proper equipment, and their Czechs bounced.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36337 on: September 09, 2021, 05:12:46 AM »
What’s the proper plural of beer?



SLAB.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36338 on: September 09, 2021, 05:14:33 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36339 on: September 09, 2021, 07:46:44 AM »
I'm trying to build interest for my new children's book
It's about a vixen whose tail hurts, and each page after the introduction is a new animal trying to help her heal or deal with the pain. Sadly, every publisher I've contacted has rejected the manuscript outright.

I'm not giving up, though. "For Fox' ache" will find it's audience someday.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36340 on: September 09, 2021, 07:56:41 AM »
It's the second day on Noah's Ark, and all the animals are meeting up with their counterparts.

The unicorns find each other, and the first unicorn introduces himself, saying "Hi, my name's Frank."
The second unicorn says "Hi Frank, I'm Jerry!"

The unicorns in unison say, "Oh shit..."
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36341 on: September 09, 2021, 07:59:56 AM »
I don't know what animal the year 2020 was in the Chinese calendar,

but I'm pretty sure it was rabid.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36342 on: September 09, 2021, 12:17:11 PM »
Trump is a very reasonable man.

Edit: Typo error.

I meant Trump is a very treasonable man.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36343 on: September 09, 2021, 12:41:01 PM »
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36344 on: September 09, 2021, 12:42:21 PM »
A father passes away and his son is arranging the funeral.
He talks to the mortician about his father’s remains.

The son says, “I know we don’t have much money, but I want the best for my father. Please do what you can.”

A week after the funeral, the mortician presents the son with a bill for fifty dollars. Thinking it to be very reasonable, the son pays the bill. The next week, the son gets another bill for fifty dollars from the mortician. He pays that as well. A week later a third bill arrives in the amount of fifty dollars.

The son calls the mortician and says. “The funeral was three weeks ago. Why am I still getting bills for fifty dollars?”

“You wanted the best for your father,” the mortician says, "so that tux was rented."
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36345 on: September 09, 2021, 12:44:35 PM »
Looking back over the years that my wife and I were together, I can't help but wonder:

What the hell was I thinking?
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36346 on: September 09, 2021, 12:46:33 PM »
Seems that regional lockdown ceases at midnight tonight.

Lemmee see now, where do I want to ride to after midnight?
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36347 on: September 09, 2021, 02:41:34 PM »
Reached 22 degrees  here today, now 18.
Really windy outside, 45kph  with 60 kph gusts. Enough to rattle the doors and windows.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36348 on: September 09, 2021, 02:52:41 PM »
"Yeah. Those animals across our southern border have ruined their own country, and our trying to invade and ruin ours. With their rampant guns and drugs, their government has become a shambles of nut job military and rich drug addicts who don't care about anyone!"

"Eh?"
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36349 on: September 09, 2021, 02:54:42 PM »
Oh dear, my bank account has been suspended again, according to an Indian email.
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