Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5863520 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36350 on:** September 09, 2021, 03:08:43 PM »

"I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend.

So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36351 on:** September 09, 2021, 05:05:27 PM »

That "Born to Be Wild" song is actually pretty scary?

Especially the part where they find a head out on the highway.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36352 on:** September 09, 2021, 05:14:10 PM »

A cruise ship passes a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly.

“Captain,” one passenger asks, “Who is that man over there?”

“I have no idea,” the captain says, “But he goes nuts every year as we pass by.”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36353 on:** September 09, 2021, 05:19:22 PM »

I’ve been watching a lot of Wild West films lately.

I can’t help but think a lot of conflict and bloodshed could have been avoided, if the cowboy architects had just built the towns big enough for everyone?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36354 on:** September 09, 2021, 05:32:42 PM »

I wonder how long it will take Danpanic to shut down the state again?

NTRebel · « **Reply #36355 on:** September 09, 2021, 05:38:49 PM »

He has'nt opened it up yet has he.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36356 on:** September 09, 2021, 05:39:21 PM »

After a wild night of drinking, a guy gets pulled over on the hiway.

Cop: “Where are you headed, sir?”

Guy: *shrugs* “Jail, I guess?”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36357 on:** September 09, 2021, 05:41:23 PM »

Melbourne is still shut down Paul, but for the rest of us some restrictions are eased as of midnight tonight.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36358 on:** September 09, 2021, 05:44:16 PM »

Pretty wild night at the pub last night,

Some woman got her nipple pierced ...

And I've been banned from playing darts.

ruSTynutz · « **Reply #36359 on:** September 09, 2021, 05:45:03 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on September 09, 2021, 05:32:42 PM

I wonder how long it will take Danpanic to shut down the state again?

Probably once the idiots in Melbourne sneak out and spread their germs...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36360 on:** September 09, 2021, 05:53:10 PM »

If you encounter a polar bear in the wild, lie down and pretend that you're dead.

It's good practice for when you'll be really dead, in just a couple of minutes.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36361 on:** September 09, 2021, 05:57:30 PM »

Fishing Buddies.

A Kiwi and an Aussie went fishing one afternoon and decided to have a couple of cold beers.

After a while the Aussie says to the Kiwi, "If I was to sneak over to your house and made wild passionate love to your wife while you were at work, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?"

The Kiwi after a great deal of thought, says, "Well, I don't know about related, but it sure would make us even."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36362 on:** September 09, 2021, 06:30:20 PM »

If someone who jumped off a pyramid is in denial, what do you call someone who jumped off the Eiffel Tower?

Inseine

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36363 on:** September 09, 2021, 06:31:59 PM »

What will the 10th movie in the Fast and Furious franchise be called?

Fast10

- Your seat belts

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36364 on:** September 09, 2021, 08:28:29 PM »

The headmistress at a girl’s college was lecturing on Sexual morality......

“In moments of temptation,” she said to the class, “Ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?”

She was furious when one student got up and asked “How do you make it last an hour?”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36365 on:** September 09, 2021, 08:33:09 PM »

The bidding was proceeding furiously when the Head Auctioneer suddenly announced, “A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand dollars.”
“If returned, he has agreed to pay a reward of fifteen hundred dollars!”

After a moment's silence in the auction house, from the back of the room came a shout, “Two thousand!”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36366 on:** September 09, 2021, 08:41:09 PM »

His family is furious at him for implying his Sister is an idiot, for not vaccinating her child...

I suppose the kids funeral wasn’t the right place to say it.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36367 on:** September 09, 2021, 10:35:06 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36368 on:** September 10, 2021, 12:13:42 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36369 on:** September 10, 2021, 01:01:00 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36370 on:** September 10, 2021, 01:08:17 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36371 on:** September 10, 2021, 01:18:22 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36372 on:** September 10, 2021, 02:49:35 AM »

I was in denial about her death until I arrived at the Morticians

But then I saw her face... now I'm a bereaver ...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36373 on:** September 10, 2021, 03:37:08 AM »

Security Guard : "I'm sorry ma'am, but skinny dipping is prohibited on this beach "

Woman : "You could have warned me before I removed my clothes?"

Security guard : "Well, there's no law about that"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36374 on:** September 10, 2021, 05:44:28 AM »

I was married by a judge.

I should have asked for a jury.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5863520 times)