Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 5864607 times)

Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36575 on: September 15, 2021, 02:09:37 AM »
Cats roused me to top up their food dishes again, all done now so I can go back to bed.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36576 on: September 15, 2021, 02:12:46 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36577 on: September 15, 2021, 07:19:39 AM »
A peanut had hayfever.

"CASHEW! ... CASHEW! ... CASHEW! "
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36578 on: September 15, 2021, 07:25:26 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36579 on: September 15, 2021, 07:36:17 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36580 on: September 15, 2021, 09:32:26 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36581 on: September 15, 2021, 09:34:23 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36582 on: September 15, 2021, 09:36:43 AM »
If you’re scared of elevators, take steps to avoid them.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36583 on: September 15, 2021, 11:26:56 AM »
“Do you really have to lick the knife?” she growled angrily.

“Sorry, force of habit.” he chuckled. “Lots of people do it though, don’t they?”

“Yes, but not during surgery, doctor.”
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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36584 on: September 15, 2021, 11:38:33 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36585 on: September 15, 2021, 02:17:14 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36586 on: September 15, 2021, 02:25:25 PM »
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.

"I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want Novocaine because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way."

The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?"

The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36587 on: September 15, 2021, 03:57:04 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36588 on: September 15, 2021, 04:14:32 PM »
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Johnny interrupted with this triumphant announcement:
"My Mommy looked back once while she was driving, and she turned into a telephone pole!"

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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36589 on: September 15, 2021, 07:52:01 PM »
My wife came home from work and stormed angrily into the bedroom where I was sat.
"I get the impression you aren't being loyal to me," she said.

"Why?" I frowned.

"You've been very quiet recently. And you're always hanging around with that girl from work, Rachel?"

"Rochelle." coughed a voice from the wardrobe.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36590 on: September 15, 2021, 08:12:24 PM »
Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets.

Why should other planets be any different from this one?

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36591 on: September 16, 2021, 12:24:07 AM »
She probably got to this size from going to KFC,

... and licking OTHER peoples fingers!

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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36592 on: September 16, 2021, 12:25:19 AM »
I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36593 on: September 16, 2021, 12:28:13 AM »
You know you're in Canada when the local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for the hockey game results.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36594 on: September 16, 2021, 12:30:02 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36595 on: September 16, 2021, 12:31:24 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36596 on: September 16, 2021, 12:37:51 AM »
Two Redneck hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting.

They were quite successful in their venture, and bagged six big bulls.
The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up.

They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk.
The pilot objected he said, "The plane can take out only four of your elk. You will have to leave two behind."
One of the hunters pushed forward, "Hey, last year our pilot let us take out six elk. It was the same model plane, same weather conditions, and everything. What's with this? We want you to allow us to fly out just like last year.

Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six elk aboard and the men all climbed in with their gear. But when they attempted to take off and fly out of the valley, the little plane could not make it.

They crashed in the wilderness. Climbing out of the wreckage, one Redneck said to the other, "Do you know where we are?"
"I think so," replied the other Redneck. "Yep! I think this is about a couple hundred yards past where we crashed last year!"

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Offline Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36597 on: September 16, 2021, 12:58:29 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36598 on: September 16, 2021, 01:09:21 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
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  • Posts: 101343
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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36599 on: September 16, 2021, 02:19:23 AM »
If Willie Nelson had two spliffs, would that make him double jointed?

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