Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 541087 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1300 on:** January 21, 2024, 12:43:37 AM »

I was in the park the other day, watched a man feeding a hawk.

I thought to myself ... I wonder how long he's been dead?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1301 on:** January 21, 2024, 02:37:11 AM »

A few years ago, I rang the spiritual leader of Tibet.
3 days later, FedEx delivered a large goat with a long neck.

Seems that I screwed up, and dialed a lama!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1302 on:** January 21, 2024, 04:57:09 AM »

Julius Caesars first weather report.....

.... Hail, Caesar!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1303 on:** January 21, 2024, 08:15:52 AM »

I got into a lot of strife recently at my job of shooting horses.

Seems the World Health Organisation is NOT trying to eradicate Polo......

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1304 on:** January 21, 2024, 11:54:36 AM »

I was sitting in traffic the other day, ...

... and got run over.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1305 on:** January 21, 2024, 01:47:28 PM »

My friend Joseph has one leg shorter than the other.
Every time he walks into a room, everyone starts singing that Dolly Parton song.
"Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe leann....."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1306 on:** January 21, 2024, 02:34:17 PM »

A recently divorced 55 year old friend of mine is hopeful of finding romance again.
Big beer belly, completely bald, and a heavy smoker....
I don't like her chances tho.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1307 on:** January 21, 2024, 03:51:25 PM »

I recently visited my parents house, and looked at my neigbours garden, where I USED TO STEAL APPLES AS A TODDLER.

They didn't mind me pinching their apples, but they got annoyed with me for dressing as a toddler