Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 541950 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8000 on:** July 01, 2025, 03:18:25 PM »

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8001 on:** July 01, 2025, 04:01:02 PM »

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8002 on:** July 01, 2025, 04:49:00 PM »

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8003 on:** July 01, 2025, 05:55:14 PM »

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8004 on:** July 01, 2025, 06:52:12 PM »

I had plastic surgery last week – I cut up my credit cards.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8005 on:** July 01, 2025, 06:57:12 PM »

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8006 on:** July 01, 2025, 08:53:15 PM »

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8007 on:** July 01, 2025, 09:43:39 PM »

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8008 on:** July 01, 2025, 09:49:28 PM »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGl-OpaDdeo

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8009 on:** July 01, 2025, 10:38:26 PM »

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we have no idea where the hell she is.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8010 on:** July 01, 2025, 11:20:38 PM »

I don’t understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel, when they can easily buy one for just a few dollars.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8011 on:** July 02, 2025, 01:21:54 AM »

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend.
Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man’s best friend is his dog.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8012 on:** July 02, 2025, 01:54:11 AM »

I find it amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits into a one hour TV program...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8013 on:** July 02, 2025, 02:12:05 AM »

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is.
Fortunately, I love money.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8014 on:** July 02, 2025, 03:02:09 AM »

If life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8015 on:** July 02, 2025, 07:00:19 AM »

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8016 on:** July 02, 2025, 07:18:45 AM »

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8017 on:** July 02, 2025, 07:45:31 AM »

Before you call the Foreign Minister, ensure you have the Wong number.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8018 on:** July 02, 2025, 10:27:45 AM »

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8019 on:** July 02, 2025, 11:46:48 AM »

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it.
Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8020 on:** July 02, 2025, 12:09:10 PM »

Marriage is the prime cause of divorce.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8021 on:** July 02, 2025, 01:35:47 PM »

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8022 on:** July 02, 2025, 02:25:22 PM »

Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8023 on:** July 02, 2025, 03:03:35 PM »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3W1sZG8U8cM

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8024 on:** July 02, 2025, 03:52:59 PM »

You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago we were swept away by the Macarena.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 541950 times)