Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 541490 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8100 on:** July 06, 2025, 02:29:16 AM »

My friends son told me he wanted to be a garbage collector.
He thought that they only worked on each Tuesday morning.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8101 on:** July 06, 2025, 02:50:28 AM »

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8102 on:** July 06, 2025, 04:38:13 AM »

If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8103 on:** July 06, 2025, 08:38:10 AM »

I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8104 on:** July 06, 2025, 08:44:16 AM »

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8105 on:** July 06, 2025, 09:50:39 AM »

A friend decided to race horses for a living, but discovered that they were way faster than he was.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8106 on:** July 06, 2025, 09:52:59 AM »

A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8107 on:** July 06, 2025, 10:18:35 AM »

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8108 on:** July 06, 2025, 11:36:45 AM »

When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8109 on:** July 06, 2025, 12:13:05 PM »

I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8110 on:** July 06, 2025, 12:41:00 PM »

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit.
There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8111 on:** July 06, 2025, 02:14:27 PM »

We are all here on earth to help others.
What on earth the others are here for I don’t know.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8112 on:** July 06, 2025, 02:25:04 PM »

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8113 on:** July 06, 2025, 02:47:18 PM »

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep.
Not screaming like the passengers in his car.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8114 on:** July 06, 2025, 03:05:39 PM »

You cannot soar with the eagles if you hang out with turkeys.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8115 on:** July 06, 2025, 04:49:22 PM »

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8116 on:** July 06, 2025, 05:24:24 PM »

If at first you don’t succeed, quit. When life gives you lemons, quit.
When the going gets tough, the tough just quit.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8117 on:** July 06, 2025, 05:58:17 PM »

It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8118 on:** July 06, 2025, 06:19:02 PM »

The only mystery in life is why kamikaze pilots wore crash helmets?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8119 on:** July 06, 2025, 06:44:30 PM »

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8120 on:** July 06, 2025, 07:09:53 PM »

Men marry women with the hope they will never change.
Women marry men with the hope they will change.
Invariably they are both disappointed.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8121 on:** July 06, 2025, 07:30:44 PM »

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads,
but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8122 on:** July 06, 2025, 08:36:48 PM »

At every party there are two kinds of people
– those who want to go home, and those who want to stay.
The problem is that they are usually married to each other.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8123 on:** July 06, 2025, 09:04:14 PM »

Why do they call it rush hour when traffic is at a standstill?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8124 on:** July 06, 2025, 09:32:20 PM »

By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 541490 times)