From the Library

[Biggles]

As I approached the examiner's table with my red sparkly helmet hand, I felt all eyes were upon me, mainly because I was young- and a girl. Everyone looked so surprised! I told the examiner I was there to get my motorcycle license. He said, "What? What are you talking about?" I presented all the formal paperwork and the fee payment, and he just shook his head. He kept asking if my parents were aware of what I was doing, if that was what I really wanted, like he just couldn't believe my intent and was trying to talk me out of it.
Getting a motorcycle license was a completely normal process within my family, no matter what gender, and this examiner was ruining my big day. He was making me a little angry, and my stress level was elevating rapidly! I was firm and politely held my ground. He finally was accepting of the fact, although I can still remember the snickering and puzzled facial expressions from the other people in the room. Mr. Examiner finally realized I was serious. I took the written examination and passed. I don't recall the grade. But I was very happy; step one was completed. I had one final step to go on my journey.
Riding 500cc Two Strokes From Arizona To Canada  Jim Balding and Jeffrey Ross  p74

[Biggles]

Sorry for the gap in posting.  Been in hospital for a broken femur.
No, not bike-related. Clumsiness.

We got off work at 1:30 am and headed out. (I probably would never asked her out, but since I had a way-cool motorcycle, she asked me and that was the start of our lifelong relationship.)
I took her home to her grandmother's house at 6 am. You know that didn't go over well. Two weeks later, Granny (who was raising Robin at the time) found out I had a motorcycle. During those two weeks I had shown up in my Camaro only- no Honda. The first dry day I came back on the Honda to pick up Robin for a ride, Granny hollered, "You're not getting on the back of that motorcycle, young lady!" Needless to say, Robin did anyway, and we pulled out of the driveway and took off with the front tire in the air for the first three gears!
Riding 500cc Two Strokes From Arizona To Canada  Jim Balding and Jeffrey Ross  pp82-3

[Biggles]

When I was cruising through Kansas, I was getting that numb feeling and beginning to feel the tiredness sneaking in on me. All at once, a right-angle turn materialized on the two lane!
I went straight ahead into a corn field that had been recently picked. No poles, no trees- just a shallow ditch. The Lord does watch over the careless. I was wide-awake now. The sun was coming up when I was cruising west of Seward, Nebraska on two-lane Highway 34, getting pretty close to the end of the journey. Just as I was rolling cross a two-lane bridge two cars were approaching, and the trailing car suddenly passed the other one. I hugged the guard rail; they both pulled over and we all escaped. Later on, I realized the sun in the eyes of the drivers was probably the cause of the near disaster.
Anyhow, I arrived home okay. Pat and I got the marriage license, I went to a local motorcycle hill climb and TT race on Saturday afternoon, and the wedding came off without a hitch on Sunday evening. That Warrior was a great bike.
Riding 500cc Two Strokes From Arizona To Canada  Jim Balding and Jeffrey Ross  pp89-90

[Williamson]

I went straight ahead into a corn field that had been recently picked. No poles, no trees- just a shallow ditch. The Lord does watch over the careless.

If his lord was serious, he/she/it woulda stopped him from getting drowsy in the first instance.

[Biggles]

With only minutes of lessons behind us, and having never really ridden, we took off.
I immediately wanted to see how fast I could go and how much fun I could have. Soon as I got on the small Yamaha, I was in heaven. We were riding along a dirt path to get to where the real run would be. Then, we met our turnoff and rode through some desert. After about a half hour of reckless abandonment riding in somewhat smooth desert terrain, we stopped for a water break, and I had a grin ear-to-ear. Now it was my turn to ride the big, much more powerful motorcycle. So, I hopped on the larger, and superfast, 250cc beast.
When I straddled this mammoth motorcycle, I could not touch the ground with both feet, which should have told me this was a bad idea. But that was not going stop me. I hopped on and took off. WOW! What an exhilarating rush I felt as I started riding. We went through the gears, starting slower and eventually riding faster and faster, jamming through curves and bumps with a joy only an off-road enthusiast would understand.
I was aggressively riding this uncertain terrain. Suddenly, we came up to a curve I wasn't skilled enough, nor prepared enough, to negotiate. At that moment, I realized how under-skilled, and certainly under-dressed, I was for the occasion. I crashed and landed upside down in a cactus tree! Next, I heard someone rushing over to shut off the motorcycle lying on the ground about fifteen feet away. The bike was still roaring away since I had been abruptly separated from it. Riderless, the 250 was screaming. Finally, the noise stopped.
Riding 500cc Two Strokes From Arizona To Canada  Jim Balding and Jeffrey Ross  pp96-7

[Biggles]

After our first full day of riding from Nebraska into Kansas, we camped at a rest area outside of Dodge City, Kansas, along US50. No problem. No concerns for our safety or decision. Today, in 2019, we would probably be arrested for camping in such a place. Back then, we just rolled out our bags by a picnic table and spent the night.
The next day, we went past Springfield, Colorado and just before turning south toward Pritchet, Colorado, Mike's bike ran out of gas (due to the extended forks that prevented him from fully utilizing the reserve gas in his fuel tank). Jeff and I kept riding into town before we realized Mike wasn't with us. We turned back and I pushed him into Pritchet by nudging his bike along with my right foot pressed against his left rear shock absorber.
Riding 500cc Two Strokes From Arizona To Canada  Jim Balding and Jeffrey Ross  p102

[Biggles]

Nothing is waterproof. I don't care how much you spend, where you get it from, or how many layers you wear. At some point that God awful feeling of cold water creeping between your legs will happen. Its insidious progress is awful. Like a cold wet spider it touches, examines, and then envelopes your balls. Not content with that it then slips its cold wet fingers over your bum crack, and not in a nice way.
Your gloves will leak and become sodden. Your boots might hold out for a while but slowly they will fill, sure as eggs is eggs, they will fill. Then your neck gets wet. No problem you think, a wet neck is nothing. Ha!
Motorcycle Touring From A Tight Arsed Northerner's Perspective  Chris Hardy  pp18-9

[Biggles]

Under 250cc.
Great fuel economy, beef the suspension up and a bigger tank, happy days as long as you don't want to bomb along the Autobahns. If I could find an old C90 I might be tempted to use that on my solo jaunts as they use bugger all in petrol and you can fix everything on them with 'Duct tape' and a hammer.
250cc to 500cc.
Same as above only a bit quicker I suppose.
500cc to 800cc.
For me this is about right, cheap to run, decent tank range, comfortable, and enough speed to manage the motorways.
800cc to l200cc.
Well now you have to start asking yourself why you want something this big, what benefits will it bring, or are you just suffering from possible penis size envy. Joke, I was joking for God's sake. Okay they are faster I suppose and can maybe carry more stuff (although my DL650 is rated to carry more weight than the DL1000, what's that all about?) and, well that's about it as far as I can see.
1200cc to God knows what.
Now you are just getting silly and should do what you really want to do, buy a car.
Motorcycle Touring From A Tight Arsed Northerner's Perspective  Chris Hardy  pp38-9

[Biggles]

A Sat nav.
I have ridden across Europe for a month without one of these but to be honest that was only because I had nowhere to go and all the time in the world to get there. They are a bloody marvellous invention as long as you use them, and don't allow them to use you. I tend to plot an interesting route on the map, write the information down, and then I key my final destination into the Sat Nav. That way you can wander about to your heart's content while always knowing how to get to your bed for the night by the quickest route. Now you can buy one designed specifically for a motorbike if you have a huge wedge of cash that you have no other use for and can get it out of your wallet without crying. I can't, it would kill me to pay that much, I am even now sitting here sweating just at the thought of it. I use a Garmin 50 car type and if it rains I just put one of those clear plastic food bags over it. I bought it brand new for £50, happy days.
Motorcycle Touring From A Tight Arsed Northerner's Perspective  Chris Hardy  p54

[Biggles]

Clothes I pack in a helmet bag, this keeps your mind focused as to how much stuff you really need. I take a freezer bag for my dirty socks and pants to keep them separate along with the liquid laundry wash and a clothes line just to remind me to actually do it. Footwear is placed in the top box so we can slip them on and go for a long wander. When we do, I lock the helmets and jackets together on the bike with a wire push bike lock (this is also attached to the front crash bars).
I use the hard panniers when we are camping and a set of soft expandable ones when we aren't. Hard ones for camping because I can get more in them, you can put your feet up on them, use them as a table, wash clothes in them, and a lot of gear can get put back in them safely overnight. Soft ones when we aren't because we can filter easier, and carry them easier into the hostels. I use cheap locks to secure the zips. I have never had anyone steal anything from the bike in all the miles I have done and places I have been.
Motorcycle Touring From A Tight Arsed Northerner's Perspective  Chris Hardy  p70

[Biggles]

Regarding accommodation, I always pre-book my first night on any trip and sometimes my last if I can get free cancellation. If you are heading for a popular area seek out the places a little further afield as they will be cheaper and you are after all on a motorbike, so transport is no problem. Don't be too put off by a bad review score, instead look to see why those people gave it a bad review. I have seen some rather pampered people give a place a bad review because there was no kettle in the room, the bar downstairs was noisy, or the man on reception never carried them and their bags up the three flights of stairs. You may well be only staying one night so really, does it matter? If you are with your lass you obviously have to be a little choosier.
Motorcycle Touring From A Tight Arsed Northerner's Perspective  Chris Hardy  p84

[Biggles]

"There is somewhere I have always wanted to go  back to actually".
Before I could come up with several very good reasons why we couldn't go to the place she hadn't mentioned yet she said with the most unbelievable air of nonchalance.
"Ireland, I want to do the Wild Atlantic Way."
Now I have ridden motorbikes since I was 15. I have ridden them as my only form of transport for years in all seasons and all weathers so don't even consider using the word "Wuss" about me after reading what follows. Your scorn and looks of contempt mean nothing to what I felt about myself after these words passed my lips.
"But we will get wet!" I said.
Our lass placed her fork down and looked at me, I felt the ground shift under my seat, the great chunk of sausage turned to ash in my mouth, and the world fell silent.
Motorcycle Touring Ireland's Wild Atlantic Way  Chris Hardy  pp6-7

[Biggles]

The bike is in front of me squatting silently under its cover. I place my coffee down and remove its shroud. In that moment I swear I can understand how religion can take hold of someone because that's the only way I can describe the emotion that courses through my body. Coffee and cigarette in hand again I stare at that chunk of plastic and steel but see something quite different. I see life, the past, the future, soaring eagles, towering mountains, endless wheat fields, crashing thunderstorms, blinding white marble towers, vast forests. I feel gales, the sun on my back, rain in my face, dust in my mouth, joy, sadness, fear, I feel feckin alive. I stare at it and realise how much that bike has given me, shown me, how much it has taught me about myself, I reach out, touch it just to prove it's really there, and once again the realisation hits me. I have a feckin wonderful life.
Motorcycle Touring Ireland's Wild Atlantic Way  Chris Hardy  p19

[Biggles]

A special mention for that Healy Pass has to be made, not even nearly being wiped out by the Dutch couple in their camper van could spoil it. Our lass managed to shout "You stupid fekers" right into the woman's ear- we were that close as we slipped past them. For her to use that language proves it must have been a close shave. We were on a blind bend on a single track road; they were right over on our side of the road, usual story. The surface can be a bit loose so keep the speed down on the corners when you go round, in fact you won't be speeding as it's just too beautiful to rush over.
We stopped at "Peg's Shop" for a bite to eat and ended up firm friends with the owners within ten minutes and this was the case every time we stopped anywhere be it for petrol or a sandwich.
Motorcycle Touring Ireland's Wild Atlantic Way  Chris Hardy  pp37-8

[Biggles]

Conor Pass was magnificent with views stretching over the wild countryside as far as the eye could see, at the top the waterfall cascades down by the road in a singing crystal clear torrent of... well that's what it looked like in the Instagram photos I had seen before we set off. I couldn't see a bloody thing, the mist had turned into a dense fog and the only thing I saw all the way up and all the way down were my handlebars and a huge rock wall to one side of me, at least it has a one way system in place so there was no worries about an imbecilic Dutch driver heading towards us. We had picked a perfect storm of a day to ride over the bugger, too foggy to see anything and too dry for the waterfall to be anything more than a sodding trickle. I hunched over the bars and wiped my visor, "Bollox" I muttered to nobody in particular.
I pulled over to stand smoking a fag while looking at the pathetic trickle of water dribbling from the famous waterfall.
"This is magical, we have it all to ourselves" our lass said skipping over to me. I hate it when she manages to cheer me up when I want to be miserable.
Motorcycle Touring Ireland's Wild Atlantic Way  Chris Hardy  pp49-50

[Biggles]

I then heard the words that can bring fear into my heart, "Is that your bike?" It turns out it wasn't someone who owned a BSA years ago and wanted to tell me all about every old British bike ever made and how the piston could be re-bored to produce four more top end power wotsits, and how some compression was lost if you didn't toque the fluffle valve down to... sorry but at this point I normally either fall asleep or fake a heart attack. This old bloke actually owned the shop and had ended up here when he toured Ireland back in the 50's on a motorbike (yeah okay it was a BSA). He had returned home but couldn't get Ireland out of his head so sold everything he had and bought this shop. Once again a quick stop turned into a fantastic memorable encounter that etches itself into your memory, Ireland is like that. We waved goodbye as we left and everyone waved back.
Motorcycle Touring Ireland's Wild Atlantic Way  Chris Hardy  pp57-8

[Biggles]

The weather had cleared enough for us to remove our waterproofs and, oh God did it feel good, even though my underpants stuck to my arse and my boots were filled with sloshing water, it still felt great to get rid or those useless garments. The place we were staying at was right at the base of the cliffs so after checking in we jumped back on the bike and rode the twisting glorious road to the top of Slieve League. Now if you check the route it says you have to park at the bottom and walk up but you don't. When you come to the gate just open it and ride through- just make sure to close it behind you. Do not miss this place, just don't. From the views down to the sea and beyond, the sound of Skylarks, to the long coated sheep wandering the harsh countryside it's simply magical.
Motorcycle Touring Ireland's Wild Atlantic Way  Chris Hardy  p87

[Biggles]

So how much did this little jolly cost? Well including both ferries, food, petrol, and accommodation it came to around £1140 for our 16 night stay, or £570 each. To put this in perspective we normally spend around £1,100 (£550 each) for a month's tour of mainland Europe no matter which countries we end up exploring. Ireland is definitely more expensive there is no denying that. I think I could have done it cheaper but as I mentioned I wanted to stay somewhere nice in case the weather spoiled the day. So was it worth it? Now bearing in mind I really am a tight sod I can say with all honesty it was worth every penny. We had a hell of a time, we really did. If I had been by myself I would have camped and saved a huge chunk of money so it's perfectly possible to do it on a tighter budget. If you tour for the sights, sounds, and experiences, get yourself there. if you tour to get somewhere as fast as possible so you can brag about how many miles you can do in a day, don't bother because you would miss the whole point of this wonderful island.
Motorcycle Touring Ireland's Wild Atlantic Way  Chris Hardy  pp105-6

[Biggles]

When I pulled into the car park I hooked a right to avoid all the other bikers waiting to board. I don't really get on with most bikers as I just like riding my bike, I really don't want to talk about their bikes, their helmets, or even my bike. I have no interest in the rev range or the pull thrust push torque top end thingy, or their knee down escapes, or how fast they took the bloody twisty bit back there. I am not macho, I don't need to bolster my manhood, and I am quite secure in my masculinity thank you very much. That said I do actually speak to some bikers and I do get a great deal of enjoyment from the interaction. This though is down to my well-honed inner radar. I can scan a crowd of bike riding fellows and spot the one I feel I have some sort of affinity with from about, oh, 70 yards. I can sense him because he is probably the one staring up at the seagulls and doesn't own any item of clothing with the name of his bike plastered all over it, and of course he isn't on a BMW costing the same as a small African state's GDP. Anyway enough of that.
Motorcycle Touring From 'A' To Wherever And Back Again  Chris Hardy  pp15-6

[Biggles]

I am just outside of Bilbao on the AP8 and pottering along in the outside lane making good time when a Mercedes starts to edge out towards me from the middle lane. As he crosses my line I give him a little toot on the horn to let him know I am there, then I give him a longer toot as he drifts further over. "Feck this," I mutter to myself and twist the throttle to escape the trap he is laying for me. Right at that moment he speeds up and swerves over slamming into the side of my bike and forcing me into the barriers. Somehow I hold the big lump of a bike and drop off behind him waving and tooting (I wish bikes had a more aggressive sounding horn) and shouting my thoughts at him. He turns round to face me as I pull alongside of him and simply waves a dismissive hand at me. Now I am bloody furious "How fecking dare he dismiss my rightful indignation in this manner" I think to myself and proceed to start riding like a lunatic around his car. Now other road users are starting to take notice but all they see is a British biker harassing a local traveller going about his lawful business and I am getting glares of hostility directed at me along with lots of waving arms. I give up and stop for petrol and to inspect the damage. Fortunately the pannier took the brunt of the damage and everything else is in decent condition so I have a fag, place a curse on the driver's head, and forget about it.
Motorcycle Touring From 'A' To Wherever And Back Again  Chris Hardy  pp36-7

[Biggles]

"Habitacion?" she asked now turning her attention and those breasts to me with no flicker of emotion on her well made-up face. I swear to God I could feel time stand still waiting for my reply. Everything told me to get out of there- I could even sense the domino players silently screaming "Run you fool, run if you value your soul".
"Barato?" (Cheap?) I asked (I try to learn all the important words I tend to use a lot).
"Si" she replied.
Well that was that, how could I refuse. She glared at Lurch and opened a cupboard behind the bar removing one of the largest sets of keys I had ever seen and led me back to my bike. Pointing at the stable block she told me to place my bike in it. I said it didn't matter and the bike could stay in the driveway for the night. At that point she grabbed my arm in a vice-like grip and stared hard at me, "No" she said and pointed at the stables again crushing my puny arm in her grip. "Okay," I said and rode the bike into the stalls as she swung the doors open. I was now convinced they were dealers in body organs (vampires came a close second) and were hiding my bike so they could do as they wished and I would have no chance of escape.
Motorcycle Touring From 'A' To Wherever And Back Again  Chris Hardy  pp60-1

[Biggles]

I noticed that there seemed to be some family friction between the two siblings which carried on all evening, small nudges as they passed, a glare, a muttered harsh word. It turns out it was a family establishment and had only been open a couple of weeks. Mother cooked and the twins took turns in serving the customers and helping in the kitchen. None of them were Chinese by the way.
Eventually I could eat no more and my pockets were full of spring rolls so I decided to depart. "You were hungry no?" the twin said with a certain amount of admiration in his voice. "I was hungry, yes," I said as I walked the short distance to the till and presented my card. My fawning twin fawned, and took the card machine from under the counter. At this point the other twin came out of the kitchen and attempted to take the machine from him while also trying to outdo his brother in the fawning department. A slight tug of war ensued while I looked on still holding my card out.
Motorcycle Touring From 'A' To Wherever And Back Again  Chris Hardy  pp80-1

[Biggles]

The evening before I left eventually came as it had to and I walked over to the cafe to find it dark and the doors locked. I stood there confused not knowing quite what to do when the rear door opened and an old man I had made friends with beckoned me towards him. When I entered the bar was full of all the people I had met and made friends with during my stay. Marie had closed the cafe to host a going away party for me.
There were people with accordions, guitars, and even flutes. The tables were laid out with food, and there were streamers covering the ceiling. We sang and I even danced, (if you ever see me dance you would know how ridiculous that statement really is) half way through the night I made everyone sing 'La Marseillaise' as we all stood ramrod stiff, then we sang it again because it made everyone feel so good. By the end of the night everyone was falling over drunk and we parted quietly at the door as only drunks who are trying to be very quiet can.
Motorcycle Touring From 'A' To Wherever And Back Again  Chris Hardy  pp101-2

[Biggles]

Look I am a bit anti-social, okay, and I make no apologies for this as I understand where it comes from. If someone is funny or interesting I could listen to them all day but talking about bikes after about three minutes just numbs the brain, unless of course it contains a sentence like "For fecks sake don't ever pull the clutch in and turn the hazard lights on at the same time because that model of bike has a tendency to explode when you do that". Then there are the older blokes who get out of their cars and slowly edge towards you like a sly seagull after your chips. Now a word of advice if you are like me, never NEVER even glance at them because that is the only opening they need and the next words you hear will cast a shadow of dullness onto your once bright life. "I used to have a BSA, it was many years ago mind and the wife wouldn't put up with me having one now," he will say with a chuckle. I know all this makes me sound like some total knob but... ye gods I have been staring at the screen for five minutes now trying to think of what to say in my defence on this subject and can't come up with anything. Bugger.
Motorcycle Touring "Why Don't I Come With You?"  Chris Hardy  pp14-5

[Biggles]

Now this might sound pathetic but there really is something really cool when you are roaming the twists and turns of a mountain road and you manage to share a very low victory sign with a passing biker. Even sticking your leg out as you pass has an intrinsic coolness. Transfer this sign of acknowledgement to our country and simply because we ride on the other side of the road all we have is "The Nod". As I ride alone I dread a convoy of bikers coming the other way as I end up looking like a demented bloody chicken whereas on the continent a long slow low "V" sign is... well it's just so bloody cool. Yeah having written all that down it does sound quite pathetic but hell, it just feels so good doing it.
Motorcycle Touring "Why Don't I Come With You?"  Chris Hardy  p42