Dear Civilian,
Your five year old kid getting pushed down by another five year old kid is NOT a police matter; talk to the other kid's parents, not the police.
If your kid won't do his homework or do his chores, 000 is not the answer..
We know you've had more than two beers. When I've had two beers, I didn't hit six parked cars, drive my car through the front doors of a Toys-R-Us, pee my pants or pass out at a traffic light.
When you see an emergency vehicle behind you with its lights and sirens on, pull to the left, and stop. We are usually required to pass cars on the right.
When you're driving in the fast lane and you see a cop behind you, don't go 10km/h under the speed limit. We are not impressed by how safe of a driver you can be, we're trying to go help someone (or catch that guy in the Corolla that just cut you off). Safely move over and let us pass please.
If we park our police car across the road with lights flashing, don't ask if the road is closed or if there is an accident, just take an alternate route and DON'T DRIVE AROUND US!
If you get a warning instead of a ticket from a Highway Patrol Officer, go buy a lottery ticket, because you've already beaten the odds.
When you see an officer conducting a traffic stop, or with a suspect in handcuffs, it is generally not a good idea to approach him and ask for directions. If you do, don't expect the officer to be nice when he tells you to get lost, and don't expect the officer to take the time to explain.
Here's how to get out of a ticket - don't break the law.
If you drive a piece of crap, THAT'S why you're getting pulled over.
In one week I pulled over ten cars for minor traffic offences. Five of them had no registration. Three of them had disqualified licenses. Two of them had outstanding warrants - and one of them was a known sex offender, with his 12 year old niece in the car without her mothers knowledge...
If you've just been pulled over doing 100 in a 60, don't greet the officer with, "What seems to be the problem, officer?"
Yes, we get coffee breaks too.
When you're the victim of a break and enter, take the time you spend waiting for the officer to find the model number and serial number of the stuff that was taken.
Some cops are just jerks, but take heart in the fact that other cops don't like them either.
If it's night time and you're driving a vehicle with tinted windows and I pull you over, it's not because of your skin colour. I usually can't tell if the vehicle even has a driver, until the window's rolled down.
Every time you hear on the news about people running away from a crazed gunman, someone's son or daughter in a police uniform is running TOWARD that crazed gunman.
Yes, it's true, cops usually don't give other cops tickets. Think of it as an employee discount, perk or benefit. Other cops are family and you wouldn't give your brother a ticket if you were a cop either.
If your local police agency has a helicopter, everyone knows it's loud and annoying, but did you know it can cover the same area as twenty patrol officers and safely chase criminals that are driving 120km/h through city streets. Many times the driver has no idea it's there, and slows down.
Police work is... writing reports.
If you rob a petrol station you're only going to get about $100, but I get to see a K9 dog use your arm as a chew toy. For all I care you can keep the $100.
Every traffic stop could end could in death or serious injury, but we have to be polite and professional until that time.
I've taken about the same amount of men and women to jail for domestic violence, so NO, it's not always the man.
If the light was yellow, we wouldn't be having this conversation.
We know you pay taxes and that your taxes pay cops' salaries. Cops also pay taxes, which also pay cops' salaries so, hey - this traffic stop's on me!
Police Officers... our job is to protect your butt, not kiss it!
Thank you,
Your Police.
