Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them,
"Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up".
Sure, they said - you’re welcome.
So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the
newcomer.
Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"
“I’m a hit man," was the reply.
"You're joking!” was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a
beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.
"Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight,” said the
other friend, "Can I take a look?
I think I might be able to see my house from here".
So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the
direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right.
"This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see
my wife in the bedroom".
"Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her......He's naked, too!!! The bitch!"
He turned to the hitman.
“How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I'll do a flat rate, for you:
one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
“Sure, what do you want?”
"First, shoot my wife; she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.
Then the neighbour, he's supposed to be a friend of mine, so just shoot his d*$& off
to teach him a lesson."
The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a
few minutes.
“Are you gonna do it or not?" asked the friend impatiently.
"Just be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save ya a grand here."
