Author Topic: Atheist in the woods  (Read 2483 times)

Offline Z900owner

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Atheist in the woods
« on: June 05, 2013, 08:20:41 AM »
ATHEIST IN THE WOODS...

An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!'
'What powerful rivers!'
'What beautiful animals!'
He said to himself.


As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him
 


He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer.

He tripped and fell to the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him...



At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?'

The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'

'Very well,' said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:

'For what I am about to receive, may the Lord make me truly thankful, Amen.'
 

Offline Brock

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Re: Atheist in the woods
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2013, 08:44:28 AM »
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Offline Tipsy

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Re: Atheist in the woods
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2013, 11:56:28 AM »
 :wht11 py

I would of scared the bear to death or stripped of and he would of laughed himself to death
skinned him an after treating the hide I would have made a coat
Had an instant feed then cut the rest up and made jerky
used the teeth as a saw and cut down some trees to make a home
also used the claws to till the ground and grow veges,
and so all is good within ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,my mind (he he he they are coming to take me away ho ho  :grin :p)
but then again I really was riding my STeed and the F'n bear couldn't  catch me. :nahnah

Tipsy
« Last Edit: June 05, 2013, 09:35:46 PM by Tipsy »
I am lost and haves gone to find myself
Now If I get back before I return
Please ask me to wait.
 

Offline RexJ

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Re: Atheist in the woods
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2013, 07:47:41 PM »
Moderator.  I say MODERATOR, are you aware of whats going on here?  :eek

I think these chaps are bored.   :p

A bit like the Irish inventor who designed and constructed a parachute for helicopters.   :think1  His uncle designed the one that opened on impact.  :think1

They got the nephew to go up in a chopper and try them out. Useless bloke actually. He jumped out of the chopper and missed.   :o :crazy
 

Offline Tipsy

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Re: Atheist in the woods
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2013, 09:37:20 PM »
Moderator.  I say MODERATOR, are you aware of whats going on here?  :eek

I think these chaps are bored.   :p



A bit like the Irish inventor who designed and constructed a parachute for helicopters.   :think1  His uncle designed the one that opened on impact.  :think1

They got the nephew to go up in a chopper and try them out. Useless bloke actually. He jumped out of the chopper and missed.   :o :crazy
and must of been his brother who invented the ejector seat for same, :runyay :rofl :crackup
Tipsy
I am lost and haves gone to find myself
Now If I get back before I return
Please ask me to wait.