Two Martians landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night.
They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger Martian addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."
The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.
The younger Martian became angry at the lack of response. The older one said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'
The younger Martian ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.
Pissed at the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader or I will fire!"
The older Martian again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really think that will make him mad.'
'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young Martian. He aimed his weapon and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards him and blew him off his feet and threw him in a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser Martian who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.
'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried Martian. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'
The older Martian leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you never fool with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder and then stick it in his ear.'
