Author Topic: Old People  (Read 2060 times)

Offline Z900owner

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Old People
« on: May 23, 2014, 11:10:07 PM »

 Couple in their  nineties are both having problems remembering  things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them  that they're physically okay, but they might want to  start writing things down to help them  remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the  old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while  I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you  get me a bowl of ice  cream?'

'Sure.'

'Don't  you think you should write it down so you can  remember it?' she  asks.

'No, I  can remember it.'

'Well,  I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you  should write it down, so as not to forget  it?'

He says,  'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream  with strawberries.'

'I'd also  like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that,  write it down?' she  asks.

Irritated,  he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can  remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped  cream - I got it, for goodness  sake!'

Then he  toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,  the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his  wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the  plate for a  moment.

'Where's  my toast?'


An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and  after eating, the wives left the table and went into  the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one  said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant  and it was really great. I would recommend it very  highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of  the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and  finally said, 'What's the name of that flower you  give to someone you love? You know, the one that's  red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a  rose?'
'Yes,  that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned  towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the  name of that restaurant we went to last  night?'





A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old  buddy:
'So I hear you're getting  married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good  looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good  cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too  well.'
'Does she have lots of  money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church  mouse.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry  her then?'
'Because she can still  drive!'


A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought  a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars,  but it's state of the art. It's  perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What  kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'


Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor  to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris  walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman  on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke  to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great,  aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you  said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be  cheerful.''
The  doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've  got a heart murmur; be  careful.'


One more. . .!
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour  and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a  stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a  banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed  nuts?'
'No,' he replied,  'Arthritis.'


Now, before you  'forget', send them on to some other folks you  know who could use a good  laugh!!


 

Online Nigel

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Re: Old People
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2014, 09:38:06 AM »
That could easily be me..................................................................done way to often. Better write that down  :eek :wht11
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Offline Bluey

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Re: Old People
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2014, 12:08:03 PM »
Oh so sad - I can relate to most of those.
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