Author Topic: Horse riding.  (Read 3451 times)

Offline Flip

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Horse riding.
« on: June 08, 2014, 12:00:32 PM »
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons, nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slide from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the horse's side anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune

. . . Frank, the Kmart greeter, sees her dilemma, and unplugs the horse.


But I AM Napoleon I tell you !
Where am I now that I need me ???
ALL others on the roads are idiots - ride accordingly !
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Online Brock

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Re: Horse riding.
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2014, 12:48:15 PM »
Congratulations Flip, you are now on my list of "Must keep an eye on"
Brock
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Offline JuST Peter

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Re: Horse riding.
« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2014, 03:16:34 PM »
Congratulations Flip, you are now on my list of "Must keep an eye on"
Beauty  ++ - that'll take the pressure off me  :grin
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Pocket STocker

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Re: Horse riding.
« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2014, 03:26:02 PM »
If these jokes are coming from a friend on facebook, YOU NEED TO BLOCK THEM  :nahnah



Pockey  ;-*
 

Offline Shiney

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Re: Horse riding.
« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2014, 05:32:02 PM »
That was a good one :thumbsup

 :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl
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Offline Flip

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Re: Horse riding.
« Reply #5 on: June 09, 2014, 04:25:22 AM »
If these jokes are coming from a friend on facebook, YOU NEED TO BLOCK THEM  :nahnah



Pockey  ;-*



 o:)
A few of us from different Clubs, in different parts of the world, swap jokes, rude comments, etc. with each other, we find at various web sites.  So - some of these jokes do turn up on 'faceplate' as well.  And why not ?  :Stirpot
After translating back and forth, - to and from English, Hebrew and Vietnamese, trying to make sense of them, then remembering who / where to send them - without accidentally using wording or meanings that might cause offense :CB-- - is difficult enough - SO, sometimes confusion rains as to where or who the jokes are supposed to be sent to.  :fp   Undoubtedly some will turn up on 'faceplate' as well.
We all share a twisted sense of humor, motorbikes, crashing r/c model planes/helicopter, motorbikes, being ever so slightly mad, and of course - motorbikes.  :hatwave

Most of the Vietnamese jokes don't make any sense to anyone who doesn't or hasn't lived there. Plus translating you've got to understand Vietlish. ( throw the words up in the air then try to understand the meaning of the sentence/joke they form landing in a seemingly random order )  :||||
The Hebrew jokes are, shall we say - VERY 'politically incorrect', and NOT useable at all on an Australian web site at all !   :eek   >:() :spank   (tea towels, camels, goats, etc  :-((()
 Personally, I don't now, and never have ever, cared anything at all about 'political correctness'  :butt :butt :butt - BUT .........................  :-X

Guess I'll just stick to the excuse I'm going senile  :OldMan      ( seems to work everywhere else  :whistle )

Take care all,

Flip  (  :well  VERY GRUMPY ! Suffering from a severe lack of riding time lately )


 :wht11

Ghostly silence !   :'(


« Last Edit: June 09, 2014, 04:29:56 AM by Flip »
But I AM Napoleon I tell you !
Where am I now that I need me ???
ALL others on the roads are idiots - ride accordingly !
STOC # 5709.
Ulysses Club # 40064.
 

Online Wild Rose

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Re: Horse riding.
« Reply #6 on: June 09, 2014, 05:14:02 AM »
If these jokes are coming from a friend on facebook, YOU NEED TO BLOCK THEM  :nahnah



Pockey  ;-*



 o:)
A few of us from different Clubs, in different parts of the world, swap jokes, rude comments, etc. with each other, we find at various web sites.  So - some of these jokes do turn up on 'faceplate' as well.  And why not ?  :Stirpot
After translating back and forth, - to and from English, Hebrew and Vietnamese, trying to make sense of them, then remembering who / where to send them - without accidentally using wording or meanings that might cause offense :CB-- - is difficult enough - SO, sometimes confusion rains as to where or who the jokes are supposed to be sent to.  :fp   Undoubtedly some will turn up on 'faceplate' as well.
We all share a twisted sense of humor, motorbikes, crashing r/c model planes/helicopter, motorbikes, being ever so slightly mad, and of course - motorbikes.  :hatwave

Most of the Vietnamese jokes don't make any sense to anyone who doesn't or hasn't lived there. Plus translating you've got to understand Vietlish. ( throw the words up in the air then try to understand the meaning of the sentence/joke they form landing in a seemingly random order )  :||||
The Hebrew jokes are, shall we say - VERY 'politically incorrect', and NOT useable at all on an Australian web site at all !   :eek   >:() :spank   (tea towels, camels, goats, etc  :-((()
 Personally, I don't now, and never have ever, cared anything at all about 'political correctness'  :butt :butt :butt - BUT .........................  :-X

Guess I'll just stick to the excuse I'm going senile  :OldMan      ( seems to work everywhere else  :whistle )

Take care all,

Flip  (  :well  VERY GRUMPY ! Suffering from a severe lack of riding time lately )


 :wht11

Ghostly silence !   :'(

Now that is what I call a well thought out Excuse  :hatwave 
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Offline Flip

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Re: Horse riding.
« Reply #7 on: June 09, 2014, 05:27:30 AM »
If these jokes are coming from a friend on facebook, YOU NEED TO BLOCK THEM  :nahnah



Pockey  ;-*



Now that is what I call a well thought out Excuse  :hatwave







 ++
At 3:25 am - with no sleep for two days or nights - - -  it's a pretty good reasonable excuse - or an excusable reason - - - - take your pick !    :Stirpot

That's my excuse / excuse - whatever and I'm sticking to it.       o:)
« Last Edit: June 09, 2014, 05:32:01 AM by Flip »
But I AM Napoleon I tell you !
Where am I now that I need me ???
ALL others on the roads are idiots - ride accordingly !
STOC # 5709.
Ulysses Club # 40064.