A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom with a very attractive young woman.
And she was upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the Mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!' And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.'
'Go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out, and defenceless, that I took pity on her, and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed, and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear, because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear, because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear, just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear, because someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help, that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?
