The Israelis and Arabs realized that, if they continued fighting, they would
someday end up destroying the whole world. So they decided to settle their
dispute with an ancient practice: a duel of two, like David and Goliath.
This "duel" would be a dog fight.
The negotiators agreed each side would take 5 years to develop the best
fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its people
the right to rule the disputed areas. The losing side would have to lay down
its arms for good.
The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world.
They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest
Siberian wolves.
They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy of each litter, fed it the
best food and killed all the other puppies. They used steroids and trainers
in their quest for the perfect killing machine. After the 5 years were up,
they had a dog that needed steel prison bars on its cage. Only expert
trainers could handle this incredibly nasty and ferocious beast.
When the day of the big dog-fight finally arrived, the Israelis showed up
with a very strange-looking animal, a Dachshund that was 10 feet long!
Everyone at the dogfight arena felt sorry for the Israelis. No one there
seriously thought this weird, odd-looking animal stood any chance against
the growling beast over in the Arab camp. All the bookies took one look and
predicted that the Arab dog would win in less than a minute.
As the cages were opened, the Dachshund slowly waddled toward the center of
the ring.
The Arab dog leaped from its cage and charged the giant wiener-dog.
As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its
jaws and swallowed the Arab beast whole in one bite. There was nothing left
but a small puff of fur from the Arab killer dog';s tail floating to the
ground.
The stunned crowd of international observers, bookies and media personnel
let out a collective gasp of disbelief and surprise.
The Arabs approached the Israelis, muttering and shaking their heads in
disbelief. "We do not understand," said their leader, "Our top scientists
and breeders worked for 5 long years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans,
Rottweilers and Siberian wolves, and they developed an incredible killing
machine of a dog!"
The Israelis replied. "Well, for 5 years, we have had a team of Jewish
plastic surgeons from Boca Raton working to make an alligator look like a
Dachshund."
