Sorry for the hiatus. Been out to Carnarvon Gorge- no phone, no TV, no internet. Would drive one nuts!
'Mr Carter?' he enquired, looking at his clipboard, then scanning the otherwise empty room.
That's me,' I tried to say, stumbling to my feet, but actually said something like 'haaaaashme' in the style of an asthmatic drunk, owing to the fact that my legs were no longer working and my tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth.
'I am your examiner. Mr Pass,' he said, offering his leather- gauntletted hand. The words of W. H. Murray flickered once more across my mind.
‘Is that really your name?' I asked, looking for the cameras.
'Yes,’ came a voice, deadpan, from somewhere beneath the helmet, in the manner of a man who hadn't heard anybody point out the absurdity of his name. Well, not for 10 minutes anyway. 'Shall we start?'
I managed to dodge the souped-up Novas and weekday shoppers of Neath, and when we eventually pulled back into the riding school, Mr Pass went through the litany of cock-ups that I'd managed to squeeze into 30 minutes of riding.
These included failure to indicate, failure to execute life-saver and failure to resist taking the piss out of his name. Though the latter was not officially listed on the charge sheet.
I was braced for 'You're a disgrace, Carter, what are you? Drop and give me 20.’ But instead he said, 'You’ve passed.' I thanked Mr Pass for passing me and uttered something about being happy that I’d avoided Mr Fail's shift, which went down about as well as my original comment.
Uneasy Rider Mike Carter p16-17