How true this is !!!!!
And They Ask:
Why Do I Like Retirement !?!?!
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday.
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Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch
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Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
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Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.
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Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.
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Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.
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Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.
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Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!
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Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
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Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal ..
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Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.
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Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
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Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
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And, my very favorite....
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.
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OK, so all of the above we've all seen at one time or another, but here's a true story:A good mate of mine lost his car about three months ago, said "some rotten mongrels have knocked off me little Yaris".
He notified the Police, who filled out a report and said they'd be in touch.
I called his wife last week and asked "where's Bill?"
Beryl said "he's out at Windsor."
"How'd he get out there?"
"He drove."
"Did he borrow your car?"
"No. he drove his own."
"So you got it back?"
"Well", she said, "it's a funny thing, but the Police called to say they'd found the car about two blocks from where Bill said he parked it".
She said they asked "had it been stripped?"
"No."
"Torched?"
"No. Nothing seemed to have been removed and it looks like it's been there for some time."
"So Bill actually forgot where he parked it?"
"We don't talk about that!"
I haven't spoken to him yet but I bet Bill's not saying much either…. 
