Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 5863981 times)

Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36500 on: September 13, 2021, 03:18:32 AM »
Top Holiday Traditions In The US Military

9. Gluing Santa beard to your gas mask

8. Roasting chestnuts with an M4-A3 flamethrower

7. Draw up list of who's naughty, who's nice and who can't run their 2 miles without wheezing like an infant

6. Christmas morning, getting to sleep in till 0530

5. You open a gift and surprise! It's a khaki-coloured t-shirt!

4. Extra R&R for any personnel named Donner or Blitzen

3. There's always plenty of parking at the mall when you're driving a tank

2. Watching "Frosty" and crying their eyes out

1. Freeze-dried, shelf-stable, vacuum-sealed eggnog

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36501 on: September 13, 2021, 03:26:01 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36502 on: September 13, 2021, 03:39:15 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36503 on: September 13, 2021, 03:40:37 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36504 on: September 13, 2021, 03:41:22 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36505 on: September 13, 2021, 03:41:59 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36506 on: September 13, 2021, 03:44:06 AM »
What's the difference between Daniel Spamdrews and God?

God doesn't think he's Daniel Spamdrews.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36507 on: September 13, 2021, 03:44:35 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36508 on: September 13, 2021, 03:45:02 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36509 on: September 13, 2021, 05:18:55 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36510 on: September 13, 2021, 08:48:06 AM »
Signs You've Chosen A "No Frills" Airline

They don't sell tickets, they sell chances.
All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change.
Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.
The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he says, "Just once."
No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.
All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36511 on: September 13, 2021, 01:57:14 PM »
Indication that you partied hard Friday night.

You passed out on Friday.. You wake up on Tuesday.

... in the Marine Corps.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36512 on: September 13, 2021, 01:59:39 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36513 on: September 13, 2021, 02:26:56 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36514 on: September 13, 2021, 03:13:22 PM »
The bad economy affect on the Grand Final.

- Instead of a coin toss, they are now going to play rock, paper, scissors!

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36515 on: September 13, 2021, 03:45:31 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36516 on: September 13, 2021, 03:53:29 PM »
By 30, Most Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36517 on: September 13, 2021, 04:55:43 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36518 on: September 13, 2021, 05:00:47 PM »
What do you call a Harley that doesn't leak oil?

Empty!
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36519 on: September 13, 2021, 05:02:34 PM »
John is such a thrill seeker, when he sees a "Caution, Wet Floor" sign, he walks faster.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36520 on: September 13, 2021, 05:03:02 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36521 on: September 13, 2021, 05:04:55 PM »
Dear 60-year-old women on the beach--I am quite aware that you, just like everyone else in the world, have a butt.
You may now proceed to the gift shop and buy a larger bikini, for chrissakes!

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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36522 on: September 13, 2021, 05:05:36 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36523 on: September 13, 2021, 05:07:08 PM »
How do you tell which is the Groom at a Harley owner wedding?

He's the one with the CLEAN mechanic's shirt.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #36524 on: September 13, 2021, 06:34:20 PM »
My wife's locked herself in the kitchen after we had a furious argument over how cheap and penny pinching I've become since we got married…

She's in there now, tearing up the cups and ripping all the plates in half …
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