Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 542220 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7950 on:** June 23, 2025, 09:50:56 AM »

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time …

....Are they resisting a rest?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7951 on:** June 23, 2025, 12:19:43 PM »

What type of magazines do cows read?

Cattlelogs.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7952 on:** June 23, 2025, 12:28:54 PM »

What do turkeys say on Thanksgiving?

"Quack!" — (if they’re smart)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7953 on:** June 23, 2025, 12:56:43 PM »

There were no empty seats on the bus, so I offered an old lady mine.
She was a lousy driver.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7954 on:** June 23, 2025, 01:50:05 PM »

Scientists got bored watching the earth turn, so after 24 hours…

They called it a day.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7955 on:** June 23, 2025, 04:29:59 PM »

A neighbour whispered softly over the fence to me...
"Buddy, if you are going to hump your wife in the kitchen, make sure your blinds are closed.
We could see everything yesterday evening"

I laughed... "You got it all wrong ... I was on afternoon shift yesterday!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7956 on:** June 23, 2025, 05:14:49 PM »

I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it.

I think I managed to cover my tracks.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7957 on:** June 23, 2025, 05:50:41 PM »

When a woman is giving birth …

She is literally kidding.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7958 on:** June 23, 2025, 06:36:43 PM »

On his deathbed, my granddad said to me, “Remember these two words. They’ll open a lot of doors for you in life.”

“Push and pull.”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7959 on:** June 23, 2025, 07:33:01 PM »

A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and says, “Give me all your money or you’re geography!”

The teller replies, “Don’t you mean history?”

The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7960 on:** June 23, 2025, 08:57:34 PM »

If I had a dollar for every time I said “I’m broke,” I’d still be broke.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7961 on:** June 23, 2025, 09:49:35 PM »

If you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7962 on:** June 23, 2025, 11:09:45 PM »

Laughter is free. So I’m rich today.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7963 on:** June 24, 2025, 05:58:05 AM »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKTQbfScIws

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7964 on:** June 24, 2025, 01:29:17 PM »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKTQbfScIws

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7965 on:** June 24, 2025, 09:19:46 PM »

Why did the seagull crash into the sand?
Same reason as Air India flight 177
Flap failure on takeoff.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7966 on:** June 24, 2025, 10:52:17 PM »

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/zfvw_vnmRYQ

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7967 on:** June 25, 2025, 04:42:27 AM »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DDPwPRFgyU&list=RD7DDPwPRFgyU&start_radio=1

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7968 on:** June 25, 2025, 10:38:07 AM »

First scam call in a few weeks. Female, Asian little girly accent, advising me that my security card payment has been declined.

I do not use card payments, cash only. I shot her down in flames and blocked the number..

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7969 on:** June 25, 2025, 12:30:27 PM »

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/IuFQ5cemJcg

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7970 on:** June 25, 2025, 11:00:29 PM »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfF5b6AfUHY

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7971 on:** June 26, 2025, 03:16:30 PM »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dO8f13JzoQ

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7972 on:** June 27, 2025, 06:41:19 AM »

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/yVs3AAQKmio

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7973 on:** June 27, 2025, 10:03:30 AM »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dV9ZWqzYDM

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7974 on:** June 27, 2025, 05:18:57 PM »

I went for a quiet local ride today and just a short way out of town I came across a broken down driver.
About 8km from town. Seems he had a flat battery and no phone.
Around a month ago, I bought a digital jump starter when my alternator was a bit dodgy, and got it from the pannier. He had never seen one of these before.
The guy looked at it very dubiously, and said he thought it was totally inadequate for the job because it was so small. (About the size of two cig packets)
HIS CAR FIRED UP IMMEDIATELY, AND i FOLLOWED HIM BACK TO TOWN, WHERE HE STOPPED AT THE AUTO SHOP TO BUY ONE OF THESE UNITS FOR HIMSELF.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 542220 times)