Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 539608 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8450 on:** August 26, 2025, 12:38:42 AM »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGKNvoMRyMw

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/PuJC36Z5T2A

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/u16FiWCV_b4

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/mDpKpOmAXGs

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ijFlQyxXl8M

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8451 on:** August 29, 2025, 05:52:32 PM »

Back again! WooHoo!, thanks Brock

Had a major power surge here a couple days ago, blew up everything in the street after a lightning strike to the power lines. I lost computers, microwave, phone and charger and my air conditioner.

Time to get back to some jokes.....

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8452 on:** August 29, 2025, 06:02:08 PM »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SO68Kz3NqOc

Brock · « **Reply #8453 on:** August 29, 2025, 06:18:57 PM »

Quote

Back again! WooHoo!, thanks Brock

Thats what I do Kev..

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8454 on:** August 29, 2025, 06:33:53 PM »

My mate was driving from Melbourne to visit yesterday, I tried to call him 3 times to get an indication of his arrival time.
Some female kept informing me that he had changed his name?
She kept saying 'the person you have called is not available now'
So when he arrived, I said 'Hiya Knot, why did you change your name?'

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8455 on:** August 29, 2025, 08:16:18 PM »

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/PfbOo39pG78

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9s7uH_Q9LRo

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ath2FjpQQ-8

ruSTynutz · « **Reply #8456 on:** August 29, 2025, 09:27:50 PM »

Welcome back, Kev!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8457 on:** August 30, 2025, 07:25:03 AM »

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8458 on:** August 30, 2025, 09:25:10 AM »

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Too hard to catch !"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8459 on:** August 30, 2025, 04:44:21 PM »

Click on image to enlarge

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8460 on:** August 31, 2025, 02:50:14 PM »

Where is King Charles favourite temple located?
...Next to his ear.

I ordered a chicken and an egg online.
,,,I’ll let you know which comes first.

A frog has more lives than a cat.
,.. because it croaks every day.

What’s Forrest Gump’s password?
...1forrest1.

Brock · « **Reply #8461 on:** August 31, 2025, 09:53:49 PM »

Hey Kev.

That floodlight you sent me is still working great, thanks..

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8462 on:** September 01, 2025, 07:46:28 AM »

Brock, `I have several of those solar lights on my driveway and paths. They are still working fine after 8 years. A good reliable brand name.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8463 on:** September 01, 2025, 01:08:45 PM »

Two drunks staggered from a Pub. One tripped on the path and fell.
As he sat up, he muttered "Thass my last swill and test cement..."

This thread has now passed half a million views in just a few days less than two years.
Thanks to all for your support.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8464 on:** September 01, 2025, 02:50:19 PM »

What will Israel name its next PM?,

Lemmee see now, after Netanyahu {net and yahoo} we could have Tiktok Browser, Websearch or Twitter post.
Hang on, scrap that last one, Trump already has that one covered...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8465 on:** September 01, 2025, 04:13:08 PM »

In 1971, the price of a hamburger at McDonald's cost around 80 cents.
... and a pack of smokes was around 39 cents.

If burger prices escalated like smokes, not too many people would buy $100 burgers....

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8466 on:** September 02, 2025, 09:37:58 AM »

Click on image to enlarge

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8467 on:** September 03, 2025, 09:20:06 AM »

Wild weather here the last few days, Many trees uprooted
and a garden shed some people assembled in their driveway watched it
vanish as it spiralled out to sea at around 200 feet.
Their home is almost 2km from the beach.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8468 on:** September 03, 2025, 11:18:45 AM »

A friend asked me "How do I get a particular woman to notice me?"
I suggested to speak quietly to attract her.

So there he was, standing in a paddock, softly chatting to a John Deere....

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8469 on:** September 03, 2025, 06:05:58 PM »

What's the difference between a man's wallet before and after kids?
There are pictures where the money used to be.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8470 on:** September 03, 2025, 08:41:02 PM »

A guy was hit in the head with a can of soda.
He was lucky it was a soft drink.

Two sheep walked into a—baaaa.

Stop looking for the perfect match; use a lighter.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8471 on:** September 04, 2025, 06:34:43 AM »

Why do parents always say, "Because I said so?"
"Because science" isn't always a good enough explanation.

Some graduate with honors, I am just honored my kids graduated.

I told my son I was going to buy him a book on procrastination, but I keep putting it off.

I told my kids they can be anything they want when they grow up, as long as it's not taller than me.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8472 on:** September 04, 2025, 01:19:11 PM »

Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't-opener!

My computer is cold,
I left Windows open!

I told my computer I needed a break,
now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8473 on:** September 04, 2025, 08:39:21 PM »

70th birthday joke tells the story of a man buying a birthday gift for his wife. The man runs into a friend at the store, and the friend asks what the man bought. The man replies that it is his wife’s 70th birthday. Because the wife wanted something with lots of diamonds he bought her two decks of cards.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8474 on:** September 04, 2025, 11:09:47 PM »

A woman went on a date with a 92-year-old man. Upon arriving home, she told her daughter she slapped her date three times. The daughter asked if the man got fresh, and the woman replied "I slapped him because I thought he died!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyxChXUutqo

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Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 539608 times)