So I drove the 40mins in to Brissie to take my son out for a beer and a steak, and had a lovely time of it - something I'd recommend everyone with grown up kids does every now and then.
The trouble started when I dropped him off and headed home.
Did I mention that she was a pretty little thing?
As I moved among the city traffic, maintaining my 2 second gap, and making clear my intentions with indicators and the like, I had the unfortunate displeasure of finding myself beside a pretty little thing in a Honda city car on a piece of road the went around a bend.
She was in the right hand lane as the bend meandered left. I think she thought the road was straight, as instantly her ENTIRE passenger side of the car came into my lane as she LAZILY negotiated the curve.
I had no where to go as there was another car to my left and cars behind. I tried to capture her attention by BLASTING the horn and FLASHING the high beam as I reduced my speed. Did I mention she was a pretty little thing?
I think this embarrassed her as she turned into Ghostrider, crossed 3 lanes in front of me and tore off with another series of insane overtaking manouvres.
Imagine my surprise when I rounded another series of bends and found her waiting at the next set of traffic lights.
As I pulled up next to her, she shot me a look of DEATH. I rolled down my window and said "You've got to keep all your wheels in YOUR lane hunny - that's all I'm asking."
At this point - this pretty little thing took on such a demonic appearance as she shouted such profanities at me which basically summed up her disgust at my very existence! The language and demeanour was APPALLING! Then her face lit up - from the backlight of her phone - because she returned to her TEXTING!!!!!!!!

I just managed to blurt out "Are you in the RACQ? Coz I think you're going to have an accident if you keep driving that way!"
Now I'm no lip reader - but I can almost guarantee the next sentence yelled at me from her contained at least three F-words. She again took off faster than me, and I watched her run a blatant red light at the next set so as to probably not be near the very mutant that had turned her life into an eternal abyss of pain and suffering - ME!
You should have seen the hatred in her eyes!
For a little time after that, I wondered how I could possibly have been the villain in all of this - but didn't have the answer. How different the situation would have been if I was a police officer in a patrol car - can you imagine? Best behaviour, best manners!
I KNEW that if I had seen her up the road in any sort of minor incident due to her erratic driving, I would have gladly stopped and offered the driver of the other vehicle my contact details as a witness to provide an account of what I had witnessed earlier on - but I never saw that pretty little thing again.
Hope the wind didn't change at the wrong moment for her.
It's not always the young BOYS out there being heroes folks.