Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5822276 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91756 on:** August 21, 2023, 12:53:00 PM »

Bit of a hit in the hip pocket.
My rent has just increased by another $30 per fortnight!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91757 on:** August 21, 2023, 03:16:38 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91758 on:** August 21, 2023, 04:34:06 PM »

359

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91759 on:** August 21, 2023, 06:17:32 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91760 on:** August 21, 2023, 07:37:36 PM »

Williamson · « **Reply #91761 on:** August 21, 2023, 09:12:35 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on August 21, 2023, 12:53:00 PM

Bit of a hit in the hip pocket.
My rent has just increased by another $30 per fortnight!

It's all relative Kev. Don't know your landlord's situation, but I hope it's better than one of the family that has a rental down here. Interest rate increases have resulted in an additional $1000 per month payment to the bank, whilst there has been no increase on rent.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91762 on:** August 21, 2023, 09:53:22 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91763 on:** August 22, 2023, 03:58:57 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91764 on:** August 22, 2023, 04:47:48 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91765 on:** August 22, 2023, 07:18:49 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91766 on:** August 22, 2023, 10:25:45 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91767 on:** August 22, 2023, 01:35:56 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91768 on:** August 22, 2023, 01:52:27 PM »

This thread has now reached 360 thousand views since March 25

Thank you to all supporters.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91769 on:** August 23, 2023, 06:42:39 PM »

All good again, back on line. Had a major computer meltdown a couple of days ago and could not log in to the forum. 1 totally dead computer.
All good now, many thanks to Brock for your assistance.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91770 on:** August 23, 2023, 07:40:20 PM »

Seems like the tractor tried to tunnel out of the shed

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91771 on:** August 23, 2023, 08:44:54 PM »

Questions that beg asking

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91772 on:** August 23, 2023, 09:26:23 PM »

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON to stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91773 on:** August 23, 2023, 10:49:11 PM »

Why do you drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why do American always call for the cheque, and then give one back to the waitress?
Freedom OF religion includes freedom FROM religion.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #91774 on:** August 23, 2023, 11:20:49 PM »

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (basically Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A: Always wear a condom.

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too shit-faced to find your keys.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The colour.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.

Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: It would hard to be a dickhead all day long. 363

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5822276 times)