Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5864360 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36525 on:** September 13, 2021, 06:56:20 PM »

I noticed today that mangos are back in season and for sale in the supermarket.

I grabbed a half dozen, and had a pigout this afternoon, on two mangos and a banana.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36526 on:** September 13, 2021, 07:19:57 PM »

What is the difference between a dog and a fox?

About 5 cocktails.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36527 on:** September 13, 2021, 07:44:40 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36528 on:** September 13, 2021, 07:48:21 PM »

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner,

- and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36529 on:** September 13, 2021, 08:14:40 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36530 on:** September 13, 2021, 08:16:38 PM »

The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me, except that I have a slight stomach pain.

Wait till I get my hospital bill! ... Then I'll really have a pain the gut!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36531 on:** September 13, 2021, 08:17:05 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36532 on:** September 13, 2021, 08:25:28 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36533 on:** September 13, 2021, 08:26:39 PM »

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with Prudential, but all I can say is:

When I go, they go too.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36534 on:** September 13, 2021, 08:27:57 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36535 on:** September 13, 2021, 08:32:26 PM »

I was going to buy my girlfriend a Toyota car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver.

So I bought her some handkerchiefs instead.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36536 on:** September 13, 2021, 08:33:00 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36537 on:** September 13, 2021, 10:27:42 PM »

I went to see one of those X-rated pictures the other night, and I couldn't believe my eyes.

So I stayed to see it a second time.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36538 on:** September 13, 2021, 10:47:51 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36539 on:** September 13, 2021, 10:49:06 PM »

What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?

The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36540 on:** September 13, 2021, 11:33:38 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36541 on:** September 14, 2021, 07:33:17 AM »

I'm living in a very modest place. I have a room over-looking a beautiful Hilton Hotel.

I thought it was better than paying Hiltons prices, and overlooking the dump I'm living in.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36542 on:** September 14, 2021, 07:33:43 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36543 on:** September 14, 2021, 08:04:33 AM »

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife?

Neither has he.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36544 on:** September 14, 2021, 08:10:46 AM »

Cheap Airline.

The Flight Attendant asked: "Would you like an in-flight meal?"

"What are the choices?"

"Yes or no"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36545 on:** September 14, 2021, 08:13:36 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36546 on:** September 14, 2021, 08:16:25 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36547 on:** September 14, 2021, 08:37:50 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36548 on:** September 14, 2021, 08:40:44 AM »

I went to the Doctors with a sniffle the other day, and he said, "Go to Brisbane, it's great for 'flu. "

So I went, and I got it.'

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #36549 on:** September 14, 2021, 08:44:57 AM »

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5864360 times)