Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5586167 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8300 on:** July 16, 2018, 08:00:42 PM »

Besides, my phone number is unlisted, and on the 'do not call' register. They have no right to call me.

Gadget · « **Reply #8301 on:** July 16, 2018, 08:08:24 PM »

Due to the bye-election, our landline has been unplugged.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8302 on:** July 16, 2018, 08:17:24 PM »

Good thinking, Gary.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8303 on:** July 16, 2018, 10:14:26 PM »

The Office blonde was so thick, that she compared a photocopy with the original, seaching for spelling errors.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8304 on:** July 16, 2018, 10:17:09 PM »

The fastest method of communication transmission is to tell a woman, and make her promise to keep it a secret.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8305 on:** July 16, 2018, 10:23:57 PM »

Relationships are algebraic.

I looked at my X and wondered Y?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8306 on:** July 16, 2018, 10:27:10 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8307 on:** July 16, 2018, 10:44:56 PM »

I wonder if the guy who invented the vibrator heard voices saying "If you build it, they will come."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8308 on:** July 16, 2018, 10:47:17 PM »

You cannot take a picture of a girl with a plastic leg.

A camera is required to do that.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8309 on:** July 16, 2018, 10:53:32 PM »

Did you ever stop to think that the bird singing at the top of the tree might not be singing, but screaming in fear because they are afraid of heights?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8310 on:** July 17, 2018, 12:08:57 AM »

Momma worm said to Junior worm when he arrived home late :

"Where on earth have you been?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8311 on:** July 17, 2018, 12:19:00 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8312 on:** July 17, 2018, 01:18:56 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8313 on:** July 17, 2018, 01:26:46 AM »

True beauty comes from within.

IE: ... from within bottles, jars, compacts, and tubes.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8314 on:** July 17, 2018, 03:45:06 AM »

With the time required daily for my ex to apply her makeup, I could have painted the outside decking and cut the lawn.

... TWICE!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8315 on:** July 17, 2018, 03:46:29 AM »

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8316 on:** July 17, 2018, 03:50:30 AM »

Shopping is far better than sex.

At least if you're not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8317 on:** July 17, 2018, 10:04:47 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8318 on:** July 17, 2018, 10:05:20 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8319 on:** July 17, 2018, 10:05:58 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8320 on:** July 17, 2018, 10:06:39 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8321 on:** July 17, 2018, 11:42:41 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8322 on:** July 17, 2018, 11:51:46 AM »

Archaeologists in Peru found an article in a dig at a burial site. They sent it off to the Society for verification.

In due time, they received a reply: "Dear Sirs, The article you found, which you believe to be the
petrified penis of a past Peruvian poofter Prince, is actually the crass crystallized crud from some
creep who crept into the crypt, crapped, and crawled out!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8323 on:** July 17, 2018, 12:48:01 PM »

Just another day.. rain, hail, windy, and didn't reach double digits in temperature.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8324 on:** July 17, 2018, 03:43:21 PM »

Been getting spam calls today, had 3 so far, between 11am and 2 pm.

I dialed an imaginary number (0123456789)
Recorded the message : "The number you called is not connected. Please check the number before calling again."

2 further calls in the past half hour. Picked up on the first ring, and played the recorded message. They hung up.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5586167 times)