Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)

Frankston - but that was long before I cam to Australia.

*not off the top of my head.

[Williamson]

Fitzroy
Footscray
Fremantle

Let me think a little bit more, but that's all that comes off the top of my head at present.

Three out of four ain't bad.

Frankston - but that was long before I cam to Australia.

Nope!

[Kev Murphy]

I can't do it, I dunno who is AFL / VFL, I don't even know which team is which colours?

I never had any interest in any type of team sports, I only ever participated in individual sports, Scuba, Skydiving, MC racing, Skeet/rifle shooting, etc.

[Kev Murphy]

A woman walked into a car showroom. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line Beemer and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks wind.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.

Displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady With, "Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may not have been there at the time of her accident, she asks,
"Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to sh*t yourself when I tell you the price."

[Kev Murphy]

My mates son is dating a blonde snowflake.

She is so dumb, she couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the bottom of the sole.

If you stand too close to her, you can hear the wind whistle through her ears....

[Kev Murphy]

One night a man approached a blonde at a bar and said, “I couldn’t help but notice you from across the bar.
You’re gorgeous. Could I get your number so I could call you sometime?”
“Sure, you can find it in the phone book,” the woman replied.
“But I don’t know your name,” the man said.
“That’s in the phone book too,” she answered.

[Kev Murphy]

On their honeymoon, a blonde bride slipped into sexy lingerie and with great anticipation crawled into bed.
Finally she got up and found her Catholic husband on the couch.
When she asked why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, “It’s Lent.”
In tears, she sobbed “That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard! ... Who did you lend it to, and for how long???”

[Kev Murphy]

A blond walked into a bar and said to the bartender, “A glass of Less, please!”
“Less?” the bartender said. "What is it, some kind of foreign beer?"
“I’m not sure,” the blonde replied. “My doctor told me about it. He said I should drink Less.”

[Kev Murphy]

A blonde was at an airport ticket counter and asked to buy a round-trip ticket.

The ticket agent asked, “Where to?”

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, “Duuuh, back here of course!”

[Kev Murphy]

A blonde who stopped at a servo on the highway asked the counterguy "When do I get paid?"

He asked "For what?"

She said "Don't try to cheat me! ... As I came down the highway, I saw your sign 'Clean Restrooms'... so I DID!"

[Kev Murphy]

One Saturday morning, a man took his blonde wife deer hunting for the first time.
After he had given her some basic instructions, they agreed to separate and rendezvous later.
Before he left, he warned her if she should fell a deer to be wary of hunters who might beat her to the carcass and claim the kill.
If that happened, he told her she should fire her rifle three times and he would come to her aid.

Shortly after they separated, he heard one shot, followed shortly after by three in quick succession.
Arriving at the scene, he found his wife standing over a carcass, and a very nervous-looking man staring down her gun barrel.
“He claims this is his,” she said.
“She can keep it, she can keep it!” the wide-eyed man replied. “I just want my saddle back.”

[Kev Murphy]

A blonde woman complained her phone had gone dead.

“I don’t know what happened. I kept getting these calls from someone named Low Battery”

[Kev Murphy]

Its strange how old sayings can be revived, and yet have completely different meanings.

Way back in the days of caveman warfare, an Elder was training a young warrior, named Wise-as-Owl,
on how to throw (or 'fug' as it was known) rocks (or as they were called then, 'Whizzmees') at the enemy.
He stated that it was more damaging to pitch an uneven shaped whizzmee, because they had an unpredictable bounce.
"Do not throw round stones, Wise-as-Owl"

This advice has come down through millennia, and is still used by thugs on the streets today,
But the word 'owl' has now been deleted.

The saying is: "Don't fug a round whizzme, wise-as!"

[Kev Murphy]

Reported on Channel 7 this morning.

Some Perth bloke who is teaching in London, flew to Perth and then to Melbourne for a 5 day Aus trip to attend the Grand Final.
 
Return ticket London to Perth, A$1100. Return ticket Perth to Melbourne, $2000.
$3100, plus the cost of the footy ticket?
 
Shows how much the airlines in Aus have pumped up the prices. What a ripoff!

[Bodø]

Supply and demand - basic economics.

[Bodø]

Could have been cheaper avoiding Perth given that the west coast w***ers are in the grand final.

[Kev Murphy]

He has family in Perth

[Kev Murphy]

considering 'normal' flights from Perth to Melbourne are usually $245 - $315 each way, its still a huge ripoff.

[Williamson]

Fitzroy
Footscray
Fremantle

Let me think a little bit more, but that's all that comes off the top of my head at present.

Three out of four ain't bad.

Frankston - but that was long before I cam to Australia.

Nope!

BG, hope you haven't thrown in the towel yet.

I 'spose it's fair to say that the answer will have more meaning, or easier to understand for Victorians / Melbourians.

[Bodø]

Wikipedia says there was a Frankston in the VFL.

[Bodø]

considering 'normal' flights from Perth to Melbourne are usually $245 - $315 each way, its still a huge ripoff.

Supply and demand - basic economics.

[Williamson]

Wikipedia says there was a Frankston in the VFL.

Hmmmm ........ I might have to concede on that point.  The way I read the Wiki webpage, and from what I recall about the former VFA, former VFL, AFL and current VFL it does get very confusing.  Operative words here are 'former' and 'current', but that's being too technical. 

The question (joke) stems from a very strong dislike, hatred of Collingwood, to the point where many non-Collingwood fan Melbournians would often refer to them as Effing' Collingwood.

[Bodø]

Starts starts with an E 

[Williamson]

Starts starts with an E 

Supply and demand - basic economics.

Yep!

considering 'normal' flights from Perth to Melbourne are usually $245 - $315 each way, its still a huge ripoff.

Not so!  A quick check for the 'normal' fare on Flight Centre will indicate that Economy return fares can range from ~$245 to over $2,000; Business Class often double that.

Personally, I think the high fares a great ................... but that might have something to do with my shares in Qantas and Virgin.  Same view on bank and insurance company charges and fees.   

Before I get slammed for being some sort of out of touch, elite, uncaring plick, just consider that I'm not much different to anyone else (and probably many on the Forum) that has their superannuation invested in a balanced portifolio.

Mmmmmm .......... better turn the PC off and duck for cover for a while.

[Williamson]

Starts starts with an E 

You got me again!  I thought I better clean it up a little for the Forum, but I think the intent is understood.