Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5576564 times)

DavidP · « **Reply #9450 on:** October 07, 2018, 03:23:10 PM »

Daylight savings.. What daylight savings? (Qld'er here, so none 'yet')

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9451 on:** October 08, 2018, 05:04:25 AM »

An Iranian ophthalmologist has opened a new business in town.

It's called 'Asif Eye Care'

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9452 on:** October 08, 2018, 08:57:22 AM »

Omid Djalili is the only Iranian comedian in the world... and that's three more than Germany!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9453 on:** October 08, 2018, 09:52:12 AM »

Bodø · « **Reply #9454 on:** October 08, 2018, 09:55:19 AM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on October 08, 2018, 08:57:22 AM

Omid Djalili is the only Iranian comedian in the world... and that's three more than Germany!

Henning Wehn is funnier than Omid.

ppopeye · « **Reply #9455 on:** October 08, 2018, 09:57:31 AM »

Daylight saving. I love it. Niiice loooong evenings.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9456 on:** October 08, 2018, 01:31:54 PM »

Gadget · « **Reply #9457 on:** October 08, 2018, 02:05:47 PM »

Quote from: ppopeye on October 08, 2018, 09:57:31 AM

Daylight saving. I love it. Niiice loooong evenings.

It's great down south and useless up north. It's either light or dark here. No twilight.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9458 on:** October 08, 2018, 06:48:45 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9459 on:** October 08, 2018, 07:20:18 PM »

Need any Brand-Name furniture? .. get it from another dealer!
The Fargen prices are a ripoff!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9460 on:** October 08, 2018, 07:51:37 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9461 on:** October 08, 2018, 08:54:43 PM »

Napoleon was resurrected and came to Moscow on November 7, when a military parade is held to commemorate the 1917 Bolsheviks' upheaval.
Putin invited Napoleon to watch the parade.
Napoleon, instead of watching the tanks and rockets, read the Pravda newspaper with a great interest.
The Minister of Defense whispered, "Your Majesty, look at this military technique. If you had such weapons, you would have won at Waterloo!"

To that, Napoleon answered, "If I had such press as yours is, nobody would ever know that I lost at Waterloo!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9462 on:** October 08, 2018, 08:57:20 PM »

A Jew submitted a complaint that the Russian authorities illegally denied him an apartment.
He addressed his complaint to Lenin in Moscow.
Soon he was summoned to the party committee and reproached, "We received your letter which has been transferred to us from Moscow.
Why did you address it to Lenin? Don't you know Lenin died many years ago?"

The Jew exclaimed, "When YOU need him, he's alive for ever, but when I need him, he's dead?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9463 on:** October 08, 2018, 11:34:37 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9464 on:** October 08, 2018, 11:43:50 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9465 on:** October 09, 2018, 03:01:54 AM »

Geriatric.

Could be a reference to age, or the act of a German bowler playing cricket and taking 3 wickets with 3 balls. (Jerry Hat Trick)

I had a friend whom we nicknamed Jerry.... He wasn't old, didn't play cricket, wasn't German, but he DID have 3 testicles .....

Jerry went to a doctor for advice on this phenomenon.

He said to the Doc "You know, between the two of us, we have five testicles?"
With a shocked look on his face the doctor replied in a falsetto voice ... "Jesus, mister!... You must have one hell of a cluster?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9466 on:** October 09, 2018, 03:18:08 AM »

Good thing that Microsoft don't manufacture toasters.

Otherwise they would cost thousands, have to be upgraded every couple of weeks, only toast genuine Microsoft brand bread, limit the number of bytes per slice, and break down regularly with the claim "Operator Error!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9467 on:** October 09, 2018, 03:21:53 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9468 on:** October 09, 2018, 07:26:29 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9469 on:** October 09, 2018, 11:25:04 AM »

A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill.
"I'm shocked!" she complained. "This is four times what you normally charge."
"Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But when you screamed, you scared away three other patients."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9470 on:** October 09, 2018, 04:48:36 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9471 on:** October 10, 2018, 12:49:33 AM »

Flip · « **Reply #9472 on:** October 10, 2018, 01:33:05 AM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on September 29, 2018, 06:25:26 PM

Worlds most popular toilet paper...

Think this roll is far more appropriate !

Flip · « **Reply #9473 on:** October 10, 2018, 02:16:32 AM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on October 07, 2018, 02:25:24 AM

Daniel Andrews has a new fitness program to get Victorians walking again.

Melbourne fuel prices have risen to $1.65.9 per litre, up by 25 cents/litre from 7 days ago.

What are you complaining about ???

My 'BETTER HALF' is complaining that it now costs her 89 cents per litre for petrol for her Honda

And that a full tank only lasts her about a week and a half - that's a whole $4 worth !!!!

Now she's telling me that a Series 5 BMW car would be much better for us to own !!!

Flip.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9474 on:** October 10, 2018, 03:01:25 AM »

Time of day is important.

To a school kid, the noisy clanging schoolbell at 9am is most irritating.

Yet the same bell ringing at 4pm is considered to be melodious.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5576564 times)

Bodø