Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5863632 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7325 on:** April 28, 2018, 10:08:36 PM »

Chuck Norris once visited the set of Desperate Housewives.

Afterwards, they changed the name of the show to Satisfied Widows.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7326 on:** April 28, 2018, 10:13:09 PM »

I chucked out my old vacuum cleaner.

It was just gathering dust.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7327 on:** April 29, 2018, 01:59:57 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7328 on:** April 29, 2018, 02:01:20 AM »

Tomorrow is Jamaican hairstyle day.

I'm dreading it already.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7329 on:** April 29, 2018, 02:03:37 AM »

I always keep an empty milk bottle in the fridge, just in case I have any visitors who prefer their coffee black.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7330 on:** April 29, 2018, 02:06:30 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7331 on:** April 29, 2018, 02:09:59 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7332 on:** April 29, 2018, 02:10:41 AM »

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7333 on:** April 29, 2018, 02:22:08 AM »

I had a job at a calendar factory, but was fired for taking a weekend off.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7334 on:** April 29, 2018, 02:22:53 AM »

Chuck Norris' motorcycle has 4 wheel drive.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7335 on:** April 29, 2018, 02:24:50 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7336 on:** April 29, 2018, 02:26:39 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7337 on:** April 29, 2018, 02:27:14 AM »

Chuck Norris can parallel-park a train

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7338 on:** April 29, 2018, 02:30:42 AM »

I was lying in bed last night looking at the stars, and thinking... Where is my roof?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7339 on:** April 29, 2018, 02:36:13 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7340 on:** April 29, 2018, 02:37:26 AM »

Chuck Norris can hear sign language, speak braille, and do wheelies on a unicycle.

... AND slam a revolving door.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7341 on:** April 29, 2018, 02:46:45 AM »

My friend and I were passing the Portland cemetery.

I said "I can't be buried there!"

He asked "Why not?"

"I'm not dead yet!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7342 on:** April 29, 2018, 02:48:23 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7343 on:** April 29, 2018, 02:51:09 AM »

Chuck Norris picked an apple from an orange tree and made the best lemonade ever.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7344 on:** April 29, 2018, 07:08:34 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7345 on:** April 29, 2018, 07:17:58 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7346 on:** April 29, 2018, 07:20:53 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7347 on:** April 29, 2018, 10:47:47 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7348 on:** April 29, 2018, 10:50:48 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7349 on:** April 29, 2018, 10:52:04 AM »

Would a tall redhead be called a gingeraffe?

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