Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5863292 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7375 on:** April 30, 2018, 02:43:05 PM »

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so that he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7376 on:** April 30, 2018, 02:45:51 PM »

A man was riding on a crowded bus, standing room only. The bus stopped and an elderly lady got on carrying a large picnic basket.
She stood right in front of the man and grabbed the overhead rail so the picnic basket was above the man's head.

Being a gentleman, he offered his seat to her. She quickly declined as she was only going a short distance.
Soon the picnic basket began to leak. The man felt something drop on top of his head.
As he looked up, it hit beside his nose and ran down across his lips. He tasted it, looked up at the lady and asked, "Pickles?"

She replied, "No...puppies."

Joso · « **Reply #7377 on:** April 30, 2018, 08:03:07 PM »

Just s quick question who has the most posts on the forum ????

Brock · « **Reply #7378 on:** April 30, 2018, 08:46:42 PM »

Biggles.

You can find the answer if you click the members link, and change the order you want to see things.

Brookester · « **Reply #7379 on:** April 30, 2018, 09:02:48 PM »

Quote from: Brock on April 30, 2018, 08:46:42 PM

Biggles.

You can find the answer if you click the members link, and change the order you want to see things.

Gheez!!! Just did that out of interest and reversed the order....Nearly 500 members that have never made a single post...not even the 1 to introduce themselves

Brock · « **Reply #7380 on:** April 30, 2018, 09:12:32 PM »

Pop Quizzz.

Who is No# 3

Brookester · « **Reply #7381 on:** April 30, 2018, 10:00:09 PM »

Quote from: Brock on April 30, 2018, 09:12:32 PM

Pop Quizzz.

Who is No# 3

tj189...comes after diesel & streak

Shillas · « **Reply #7382 on:** April 30, 2018, 10:11:42 PM »

Quote from: Brock on April 30, 2018, 09:12:32 PM

Pop Quizzz.

Who is No# 3

Online at the moment?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7383 on:** April 30, 2018, 11:24:34 PM »

Online at the moment?

alans1100 · « **Reply #7384 on:** May 01, 2018, 12:14:28 AM »

Quote from: Brookester on April 30, 2018, 09:02:48 PM

Quote from: Brock on April 30, 2018, 08:46:42 PM
Biggles.

You can find the answer if you click the members link, and change the order you want to see things.
Gheez!!! Just did that out of interest and reversed the order....Nearly 500 members that have never made a single post...not even the 1 to introduce themselves

Just did that and discovered I was no 5 on the list - scary

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7385 on:** May 01, 2018, 11:03:03 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7386 on:** May 01, 2018, 11:10:22 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7387 on:** May 02, 2018, 05:37:38 AM »

Visited some friends late yesterday afternoon. Their 3 y/old saw his grandpa with something in his hand. (... was the last of the icecream, just spooned into a cone moments before the arrival of the 3 y/o)
"Grampa? is that chocolate and icecream?" she asked. "No" he replied "Its mashed potato and gravy!" "Oh YUCK!" she replied, and wandered off.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7388 on:** May 02, 2018, 11:36:02 PM »

Just received a threatening text message from Optus (???)
If I do not pay my outstanding account of $214.85 cents for calls and data in the past 30 days, they will disconnect my service.

YES! (Pun intended) ... Go for it! ... My service is not with Optus, nor do I have internet connection with my phone, therefore no data involved.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7389 on:** May 03, 2018, 03:22:34 AM »

Email from an Asian friend of mine in Melbourne, who got a phone call yesterday from 'Immigration' threatening arrest and deportation for overstaying his 'visa', unless he paid an $8oo fine.

Problem being, his parents migrated here in 1951 and he is an Aussie citizen, born here in 1953.

Basically, he told the caller... ah well, you know what I mean, having been raised in this country... ?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7390 on:** May 03, 2018, 05:04:01 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7391 on:** May 03, 2018, 03:15:48 PM »

Woggy weather here today. Friend who lives on a property just out of town picked me up to come and look at a problem with his kitchen downlights. His 13 year old son was showing off to his mate how he could touch the electric fence which contains their cows.
Problem being it was dry, and he was wearing rubber boots when he first touched the fence ... today is wet, and he was barefoot.
Zapped him a bewdy!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7392 on:** May 04, 2018, 01:18:49 AM »

Whoops!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7393 on:** May 04, 2018, 03:10:05 AM »

How to categorise this... ? Art imitates life? ... or Like father, like son.... GO! maggot, GO!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=il4X-_lvdUU&feature=youtu.be

.. the things that I assemble and post at 3 am? ....

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7394 on:** May 04, 2018, 11:41:04 AM »

How high is this cat?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOnKCqUz4E4&feature=youtu.be

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7395 on:** May 04, 2018, 11:48:30 AM »

... some minor recalculation required ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sz6ACENjruU&feature=youtu.be

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7396 on:** May 05, 2018, 05:27:26 AM »

Times have changed ... I feel cheated.

My sister and I used to share a packet of Tim Tams, (220g) we had 7 biscuits each.

Now the packet only has 11 (smaller) biscuits, (200g) and retail price has increased to over 5 times the original cost.

The new flavours recently released sell at the same price as the standard flavour, but only have 9 biscuits per pkt. (165 / 175g)

Bodø Glimt · « **Reply #7397 on:** May 05, 2018, 05:59:27 AM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on May 04, 2018, 01:18:49 AM

Whoops!

I post on a forum called footballnews and it has the coolest swear filter. Most swear words turn to a some type of wine (ie. the f word to shiraz) but for some reason brothel turns to mcdonalds.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7398 on:** May 05, 2018, 09:02:04 AM »

neat way to handle swear words.

Bodø Glimt · « **Reply #7399 on:** May 05, 2018, 09:07:32 AM »

A group of us occasionally write spatlese on purpose. It's one that's not in the swear filter but it has others guessing what word was written to be changed to spatlese.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5863292 times)

alans1100

Bodø Glimt

Bodø Glimt