Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5861061 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7875 on:** June 21, 2018, 02:54:59 PM »

The Mexicans are pretty upset about Trump and his wall, but they'll get over it ... or under it ... or around it ... or through it.

Bodø Glimt · « **Reply #7876 on:** June 21, 2018, 02:56:27 PM »

I remember the urban myth about some Mexican guy who crossed the border imto the US each day with an empty wheelbarrow...he border guards always wondered what he was up to...checking the frame piping and tyre for drugs, searching him and would send him on his way scratching their heads.....turns out he was illegally importing wheelbarrows !

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7877 on:** June 21, 2018, 03:06:30 PM »

Canadians are so impressed with Trumps wall to keep out the southern parasites, that they want one as well.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7878 on:** June 21, 2018, 04:17:31 PM »

Trump has one of the best switcheroo reverse gears ever...

Last week. "We will take children from their illegal immigrant parents."

This week. "We will NOT take children from their illegal immigrant parents."

Next week? "We will take illegal immigrant parents from their children."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7879 on:** June 21, 2018, 04:54:03 PM »

I partially misheard an article on the news this morning.

As a consequence, I have been pigging out on fruit flavoured yoghurt all day.

News report tonight is currently elaborating on International Yoga Day celebrations today...

« **Reply #7880 on:** June 21, 2018, 05:00:49 PM »

I'm tempted to make a yoga pun but the only ones I know are quite a stretch.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7881 on:** June 21, 2018, 05:18:35 PM »

Bodø Glimt · « **Reply #7882 on:** June 21, 2018, 05:29:07 PM »

You can lead a horse to water but they are bloody hard to drown.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7883 on:** June 21, 2018, 05:40:25 PM »

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the pub.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7884 on:** June 21, 2018, 05:42:11 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7885 on:** June 21, 2018, 05:45:11 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7886 on:** June 21, 2018, 05:51:14 PM »

It is not advisable to use the words 'Beef Stew' as your computer password.

Apparently, it's not stroganoff.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7887 on:** June 21, 2018, 05:55:54 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7888 on:** June 21, 2018, 06:09:13 PM »

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet.

It's not dead, just too scared to move.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7889 on:** June 21, 2018, 06:21:05 PM »

If the people of Earth stood shoulder to shoulder around the Equator,

.. most of them would drown.

Bodø Glimt · « **Reply #7890 on:** June 21, 2018, 06:25:14 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on June 21, 2018, 05:51:14 PM

stroganoff.

That's what I had for dinner tonight. Mixed with rice it was like zōsui.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7891 on:** June 21, 2018, 06:30:09 PM »

Just had a call from 'overseas' (6.24pm)

I waited for ten seconds until the heavily accented voice started, then loudly whispered "OK, it's done, but there is blood everywhere!"

Silence ... then he hung up.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7892 on:** June 21, 2018, 06:35:18 PM »

Easy meal for me tonight... mashed potato, a chicken burger pattie in a sauce made from mayo, honey, and Kan Tong sweet and sour.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7893 on:** June 22, 2018, 12:36:21 AM »

Kon the greengrocer used to take the p*** out of the Chinese owner of the shop next door
by putting his head in the door each Friday and asking Wang lei "Hey, Wang!... what day is it?"
"It Fliday!" Wang lei would reply.
Kon would walk away, laughing.

Wang lei decided to improve his english pronunciation by attending night elocution lessons.

Finally, Kon arrived again on a Friday morning with the usual banter. "Hey, Wang!... what day is it?"
Wang lei drew himself up straight and declared "It's FRiday!"
As Kon turned away, Wang lei added under his breath " ... You Gleek plick!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7894 on:** June 22, 2018, 04:12:24 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7895 on:** June 22, 2018, 05:56:33 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7896 on:** June 22, 2018, 06:12:31 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7897 on:** June 22, 2018, 06:14:02 PM »

Had my eyes tested again.

Optician asked "Can you read the bottom line?"

I replied "Read it?... huh! ... I KNOW that guy, I went to school with him!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7898 on:** June 22, 2018, 09:29:36 PM »

Now here is our Treasurer in waiting, who really knows what he’s talking about !!!!

Brilliant oratory from Chris Bowen ~ The Shadow Treasurer of Australia (Chris Bowen) actually said these words:

"The Parliamentary Budget Office (PBO) has clearly shown that the unfair Turnbull Govt tax cuts offer no benefit to those who don’t pay tax. This is plainly unfair, that people should not get a tax cut just because they don’t pay tax".

God help Australia if we inherit this imbecile.

(Thanks to Peter for sending this one to me.)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7899 on:** June 22, 2018, 10:15:19 PM »

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5861061 times)

Bodø Glimt

Bodø Glimt

Bodø Glimt