Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5860350 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8075 on:** July 06, 2018, 07:13:24 PM »

The missus told me to take a spider out instead of killing it.

So we had a couple of drinks at the bar, pretty cool dude, he wants to be a web developer.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8076 on:** July 06, 2018, 07:17:33 PM »

Two Lawyers went out to lunch.

During their meal, one jumped up and said "Bugger! .. I forgot to lock the safe!"
The other replied "No worries! .. we're both here!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8077 on:** July 07, 2018, 01:06:52 AM »

During a minor medical procedure, a man was discovered to have multiple breathing passages.

Doctors disclosed that he also had a nine inch tongue, and the ability to breathe through his ears...

« **Reply #8078 on:** July 07, 2018, 08:42:49 AM »

I just went to poop without my phone so I had to entertain myself with a magazine like a god damned caveman.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8079 on:** July 07, 2018, 10:03:46 AM »

was that your Sat-turd day morning entertainment?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8080 on:** July 07, 2018, 10:21:05 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8081 on:** July 07, 2018, 12:35:02 PM »

A friend visiting town asked me to take him Whale Watching.

I took him to the beach, and pointed to some 'plus size' ladies splashing in the shallows....

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8082 on:** July 07, 2018, 12:38:19 PM »

Pirates favorite letter of the alphabet is 'Arrrrh!'

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8083 on:** July 07, 2018, 12:55:51 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8084 on:** July 07, 2018, 12:59:35 PM »

Pigeons don't fly over Donald Trump because he aint worth shitt'n on.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8085 on:** July 07, 2018, 01:37:48 PM »

The American people have replaced the Eagle as the Presidential symbol, with a Skunk, because everything he does,really stinks.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8086 on:** July 07, 2018, 01:45:42 PM »

In 1872 the Kiwi’s invented the condom by using a sheep intestine.

In 1873 the English refined the idea by removing the intestine from the sheep first.