Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5580384 times)

Bodø · « **Reply #8625 on:** August 04, 2018, 04:58:43 PM »

You'll just have to take it down the tip yourself.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8626 on:** August 04, 2018, 05:05:31 PM »

As I have no vehicle, I guess I'll just have to drag it down the street.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8627 on:** August 04, 2018, 05:18:25 PM »

Two women were in an elevator when a guy entered. He got off at the next floor.
As the door closed, the redhead said to her blonde companion:
"Did you notice that guys dandruff? ... someone should give him some Head and Shoulders"
The blonde looked at her quizically... "How do you give shoulders?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8628 on:** August 04, 2018, 05:31:20 PM »

Taking advertising to the limit ... (These are real, not a figgeration of my imaginement)

Bodø · « **Reply #8629 on:** August 04, 2018, 05:36:52 PM »

We have this one in South Australia

I also have one that I took of one of the buses I drove, but I doubt it will pass the Brock test. I'm surprised they could get away with it.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8630 on:** August 04, 2018, 07:22:00 PM »

Thieves rarely break into homes owned by Politicians because of professional courtesy.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8631 on:** August 05, 2018, 11:19:05 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8632 on:** August 05, 2018, 02:11:06 PM »

During an airline flight over Arizona, the pilot pointed out Meteor Crater.

A blonde passenger remarked "Oh WOW! ... It nearly hit the Visitor Centre!!!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8633 on:** August 05, 2018, 02:15:25 PM »

Whales Ho!

Date & Time 2018-08-05 13:50:00
Location Yellow Rock, CAPE NELSON.
Type of Whale Southern Right Whale
Comments: 5 Southern Right whales 300 metres off shore at Yellow Rock, CAPE NELSON.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8634 on:** August 05, 2018, 02:28:57 PM »

Just plain Ho.

A woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.

"Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac."

"I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."

"That's not bad," she replied. "How much for an all-nighter?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8635 on:** August 05, 2018, 03:30:31 PM »

More whales

Date & Time 2018-08-05 15:10:00
Location Enchanted Forest, CAPE NELSON
Type of Whale Southern Right Whale
Comments: 2 Southern Right whales 200 metres off shore between Flat Rock and Enchanted Forest, CAPE NELSON.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8636 on:** August 05, 2018, 03:33:01 PM »

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.

After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.

A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"

"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the Flight Attendant, "and it took us awhile to find a new pilot."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8637 on:** August 05, 2018, 03:40:48 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8638 on:** August 05, 2018, 04:38:04 PM »

Benefits of having Alzheimer's disease

Reruns on television are a new experience.

You are always meeting new people.

You don't have to remember the whines and complaints of your spouse.

You can hide your own Easter eggs.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8639 on:** August 05, 2018, 06:33:40 PM »

President Trump has successfully managed to have the acronym 'POTUS',
(relating to himself), has now been abbreviated to just 'POS' proving for
posterity that even tho' shat hippens, it is always caused by R soles. (Himself)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8640 on:** August 05, 2018, 09:04:01 PM »

Another cold caller, 8.55pm ... On a SUNDAY EVENING?
I picked up and played a previously recorded 'computer generated' voice message ...

"Hello, I am the XS900 Mark Seven answering machine. I am equipped with the new Pentium processor
to assure that nothing can go wrong... Gowrong... Grong.. Grong gronggronggrongBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP"

*CLICK*

Here is a link to the message ... I have done others on a free text to voice program, but they are not suitable to post here.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8641 on:** August 05, 2018, 10:08:39 PM »

If anyone wants the link to this program, here it is.

https://www.naturalreaders.com/online/ Choose a voice from the top tab, select speed, replace text in window with your message, and hit play.
Record and save.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8642 on:** August 06, 2018, 10:52:49 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8643 on:** August 06, 2018, 12:41:37 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8644 on:** August 06, 2018, 02:00:54 PM »

Where's Waldo? Stop searching ...

He went to India, and found himself!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8645 on:** August 06, 2018, 04:28:04 PM »

Interesting day today... finally had dental impression taken, ready for making my new fangs. Another 2 appointments in the next 2 weeks, followed by 3 further appts in Oct.
May have a faceful of teeth again around mid October. That long awaited date with a steak dinner is getting closer.

THEN I have to have my eyes seen to.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8646 on:** August 06, 2018, 04:29:00 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8647 on:** August 06, 2018, 04:31:24 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8648 on:** August 06, 2018, 05:32:38 PM »

Well, I made it home from the Dentist an hour or so ago, and it has just started to rain, with a smattering of hail thrown in.
Outside temp has dropped from 9 degrees to 7 in the past 10 minutes. I think maybe an early bed call tonight.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8649 on:** August 06, 2018, 11:59:02 PM »

Started raining and hailing again just a few minutes ago... I am going back to bed, if the cats have left any room for me...

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5580384 times)

Bodø

Bodø