Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)

[Kev Murphy]

I learned from experience that the thing most women want from life is security.


Anytime I approach one of them, that's who they usually call for.

[Kev Murphy]

There's a bogan defence game being played across the road.

Every time someone on the ground marks, kicks, tackles or farts, the bogans bash on defence.

Only another 4 weeks now until the Goon Final, then should have some peaceful weekends here for the next few months.

[Kev Murphy]

Humans are scared of hippos, because they are violent and responsible for hundreds of deaths per year


But people kill way more people per year, so that’s just being hippo critical.

[Kev Murphy]

A Chinese guy tried to fake his own death, but nobody bereaved him.

[STeveo]

My buddy down the south side of town has problems with his NBN connection.
He has had no internet or home phone or netflix etc, since early hours of Thursday morning.
Telstra denies that there is a problem, altho none of his immediate neighbours have internet either?

I gave him the NBN fault contact number yesterday morning, and they said that they will have a technician there by next Thursday.pm.???

FFS!... and this is what they call 'service'???

...I take it that they loosely use the word 'service', in the same way that a farmer takes his cows to a bull, to have them 'serviced'

And this is why my neighbours and myself have have given up on the NBN (no bloody network) and just gone mobile, tethering to the computer. They announced on telly recently about 3,000 people per week are dumping their landline/NBN connection in Aus. Wonder why.

[Kev Murphy]

I read about this figure from Greek Mythology, Chiron.

He trained many heroes apparently, and was also a doctor.

Ergo he was a Centaur for disease control.

[Kev Murphy]

An Italian, A Greek, and A Jew are Walking Down the Street.
Suddenly, there is a freak accident where a car explodes, killing all three. While standing at the gates of heaven, St. Nick comes out to greet them.
They beg him to let them go back down, saying, "We have such long lives ahead of us!"

St. Nick replies, "All right. I will agree to let you go back down only on one condition: you must forever abstain from your favourite thing."

The young men all readily agree, and suddenly they are standing on the street again.
They start walking, when suddenly the Italian spots a pizza shop.
Excited, he runs over to the door, and disappears in a puff of smoke.

The Jew and the Greek are sobered by this, and they keep walking.

Suddenly, the Jew spots a quarter rolling along the sidewalk.
His eyes light up, and he bends down to pick it up.

And puff! ...  the Greek disappeared.

[Bodø]

I see that Bodø is well on his diverse way to Cadell RTE.
Have a great meet to all attending.

I got lost.

[Kev Murphy]

At least you are home safe now. 

That would have to be the first time for you?

[Bodø]

Bar Stinky Pete I think everyone got lost.

[Bodø]

My buddy down the south side of town has problems with his NBN connection.
He has had no internet or home phone or netflix etc, since early hours of Thursday morning.
Telstra denies that there is a problem, altho none of his immediate neighbours have internet either?

I gave him the NBN fault contact number yesterday morning, and they said that they will have a technician there by next Thursday.pm.???

FFS!... and this is what they call 'service'???

...I take it that they loosely use the word 'service', in the same way that a farmer takes his cows to a bull, to have them 'serviced'

And this is why my neighbours and myself have have given up on the NBN (no bloody network) and just gone mobile, tethering to the computer. They announced on telly recently about 3,000 people per week are dumping their landline/NBN connection in Aus. Wonder why.

Actually my home internet was having problems earlier this week.  I worked out with what I personally use I could use the same prepaid mobile wifi I use on road trips and it would be cheaper.  The rest of the family do watch a lot of videos but they are moving out next month so I am also considering ditching my home connections.

[Kev Murphy]

Better make use of my phone number below, so that I am always up on where you are heading, mate.

[Kev Murphy]

A new law is passed in the wild west, which states: “For every Indian scalp, one shall receive $10 as a reward.”
Two cowboys agree to go bounty hunting the next day.

They set out early in the morning but spend the whole day without any luck.
Finally, tired and exhausted, the two cowboys wander upon a lone Indian, obviously lost from his tribe.

Out of desperation they catch him, scalp him, throw it in a bag and leave the body lying there.

They call it a day and set up a camp, instantly falling asleep.

The following morning one of the cowboys wakes up, stretches and walks out of the tent.
He glances around to see thousands of Indians, armed to the teeth.
The cowboy excitedly rushed back inside and starts shaking his friend.

"Hank! Hank! Wake up! You won’t believe it! We’re gunna be millionaires!"

[Kev Murphy]

That Russian plane that crash landed in the cornfield a couple of days ago?

... Close encounter of the bird kind....

[Kev Murphy]

I parked opposite the football ground. I left three game tickets on my windshield before yesterday's match.

When I returned to my car, there were seven.

[Gadget]

I was going to tell a joke about Social Security,

But then I realised that few were likely to get it.

Not without applications in triplicate, and multiple delayed appointments, and a long wait for the letter, only to be backdated, along with an appointment, which you've then missed, and being breached.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

[NTRebel]

That's why they call it the missing link.

I was going to tell a joke about Social Security,

But then I realised that few were likely to get it.

Not without applications in triplicate, and multiple delayed appointments, and a long wait for the letter, only to be backdated, along with an appointment, which you've then missed, and being breached.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

[Kev Murphy]

[Kev Murphy]

The easiest way to blind a Russian, is to put them behind the wheel of a Lada.

[Kev Murphy]

Bad teeth?

A guy just went through the self scan checkout at Woolies, smiled, and the barcode scanner picked it up as an electric crockpot.

[Kev Murphy]

Sunday in Portland.

SUN-day? ... You've gotta be joking!

Overcast with a light mist, not enough to call rain.

At least the temp is in double figures tho ... 13.30 and it has reached 11 degrees.

[Kev Murphy]

Says a lot about the reliability of the NBN, doesn't it?

[Kev Murphy]

Married man picks up a lady at the bar, was riding his motorcycle to her house with her on the pillion, and he hit a cow.
Police and ambos and a TV news crew show up, and the lady has a broken leg.
He gets home, and the wife saw it all on the news update. She asked him what the hell was the lady doing?
Husband said "I don't know why, but the drunk bitch was riding a cow along the road!"

[Bodø]

Says a lot about the reliability of the NBN, doesn't it?

My wife is taking this account with her when she moves out so it's one less headache for me to worry about.

[Kev Murphy]

Crazy weather again.

6pm,
Portland   6.6°C
Feels Like   -0.4°C

Cats have already taken over the heater.