Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 350864 times)

Online Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15625 on: December 05, 2019, 09:58:21 AM »
Turning Japanese? I really think so :grin

Just winding back the clocks.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15626 on: December 05, 2019, 10:06:05 AM »
 :rofl
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15627 on: December 05, 2019, 11:02:48 AM »
A seal in party mode, rushed to his friends and said "Hey fellas! ... Wanna go clubbing?"

... and then wondered why he got the cold shoulder?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15628 on: December 05, 2019, 04:38:47 PM »
A blonde walked into a pet store and asks the clerk for some bird seed

Clerk: "What kind of bird do you have?"

Blonde: "I don't have any yet, but I hope to grow some. What kinda bird seed you got?"
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken.
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Online Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15629 on: December 05, 2019, 05:50:05 PM »
Crotalaria cunninghamii
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15630 on: December 05, 2019, 05:54:37 PM »
 :rofl Well done, Bodø. have you ever seen it? I remember hearing about it when I was in the Territory, many years ago.
I think it grows in northern WA?
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15631 on: December 05, 2019, 09:19:50 PM »
"Hey barista, how much for a cup of coffee?” asks a customer with his girlfriend.

“Two dollars,” replies the barista, “and refills are free.”

“Great! ... Two refills, please!."
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15632 on: December 05, 2019, 09:21:24 PM »
I made a grave mistake asking a customer if he preferred smoking or non-smoking.

Apparently, the correct term is "cremation" and "burial".
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15633 on: December 06, 2019, 07:44:41 AM »
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.









Today is one of those days ...
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15634 on: December 06, 2019, 07:48:09 AM »
Centipedes are mass protesting against Delta Airlines.

Not enough leg room!
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15635 on: December 06, 2019, 07:56:06 AM »
Over indulgence of the sex act can cause acute memory loss.



I read that in chapter 3, second paragraph on page 37 in a medical journal, on Tuesday February the 4th, 2011 at 4:17 PM while sitting in a traffic jam during a rainstorm while driving home from the supermarket.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15636 on: December 06, 2019, 08:08:57 AM »
I can't wait for February 22, 2022 (2/22/22). .


It even falls on a two'sday
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15637 on: December 06, 2019, 08:12:37 AM »
A man stumbles to his front steps late one Friday night...
He clumsily opens the door to be met by his furious wife.

"Drunk again?!" she roared.

He chuckles and says "Hey, me too."
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15638 on: December 06, 2019, 08:17:22 AM »
An older guy who had a new, younger, smokin' hot wife confided to his friends.

"We have sex almost every night!"


"... almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday....."
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15639 on: December 06, 2019, 08:33:50 AM »
I bought a second hand time machine next month.


They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15640 on: December 06, 2019, 08:36:21 AM »
"What's wrong, Bubba?" asked the pastor.

"I need you to pray for my hearing," said Bubba.

The pastor put his hands on Bubba's ears and prayed. When he was done, he asked, "So, how's your hearing?"

"I dunno," said Bubba. "It's at County Court next Thursday."
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15641 on: December 06, 2019, 09:54:39 AM »
George wasn't feeling too good. He felt worn out.

"How's your sex life?" asked the doctor.

"Every Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, never fail", said George.

"Why not take a break, and cut out Sunday?", suggested the doctor.

"I can't do that. It's the only day I'm home."
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15642 on: December 06, 2019, 11:11:36 AM »
I went to the local video store, and asked if I could rent Batman Forever.

The clerk said "No, you need to return it within 3 days"
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15643 on: December 06, 2019, 11:17:31 AM »
Many Asians in Australia misunderstood, when they learned that our Government always holds Erections on Saturday.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15644 on: December 06, 2019, 11:44:16 AM »
A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly.

"Captain?," one of the passenger asks, "Who is that man on the island?"

"I have no idea," the captain says, "But he goes nuts every year when we pass him."
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15645 on: December 06, 2019, 11:51:20 AM »
A nervous passenger asked a flight attended “How often do planes crash?”

Flight attended replied “Only once.”
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken.
0428 306 496
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Online Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15646 on: December 06, 2019, 11:54:15 AM »
Like people only have one birthday. The rest are anniversaries.
 
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Online Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15647 on: December 06, 2019, 11:55:38 AM »
I went to the local video store, and asked if I could rent Batman Forever.

The clerk said "No, you need to return it within 3 days"

Last time I went to my local video store it wasn't there.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15648 on: December 06, 2019, 11:59:45 AM »
Ours has gone too.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15649 on: December 06, 2019, 12:33:22 PM »
It is a cold, foggy night, and several passengers are in a bus, driving along narrow lanes in the countryside.
Suddenly, the bus swerves violently. The passengers are irritated.
A young man who was woken up by the bus's swerving says: "What happened?"

"Just mist," the bus driver says, dismissively.

The young man thinks that yes, it is harder to drive in fog, and falls back asleep thinking nothing of it.

Then, half an hour later, the bus swerves another time. The young man woke up again. "What was that?"

"Just mist," the bus driver says.

"Well, be more careful." He falls asleep again.

Another half an hour later, there is a thump.
The young man wakes up with a jerk. That stupid driver must've gone into a hedge or something. "What happened?"

"Got 'im."
« Last Edit: December 06, 2019, 12:38:51 PM by Kev Murphy »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken.
0428 306 496
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