A friend of mine who was a police officer invited me along for a ride.
As we were driving along he told me: "I've been a cop for almost 20 years now. I can follow anyone, and I mean anyone for just 1 mile down the road and I can find something I can cite them for."
I said prove it, so he started following the next guy he saw. After a mile he said "I can't believe it, he didn't do a single thing wrong. I'm going to pull him over and let him know."
He pulled the guy over, went up to him and said "Sir, I'm sorry I pulled you over. I just wanted to compliment you. I followed you for a while, and not once did you speed, change lanes without signalling, or do anything else deserving of a citation. I rarely see this, so I wanted to thank you for you safe driving."
The guy looked up at him and slurred: "Well, you jush godda be exra careful w'en you're drunk as a shkunk."