Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 5579283 times)

Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8775 on: August 18, 2018, 12:57:45 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8776 on: August 18, 2018, 11:05:05 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8777 on: August 18, 2018, 11:43:19 AM »
Well, at least I had a week-long break from telemarketers until a few minutes ago...

This is what the overseas caller got from me as I picked up, put the phone next to my speakers, and pressed 'play' ...    :rofl :crackup
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8778 on: August 18, 2018, 02:42:12 PM »
Trump was elected President of the U.S.

I know he is supposed to serve a term of four years, but i support the theory that he should serve from fifteen to twenty years because of his loud-mouthed policies.
« Last Edit: August 18, 2018, 09:07:29 PM by Kev Murphy »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8779 on: August 18, 2018, 04:25:16 PM »
Just a tad chilly today... 4.20 pm

Temperature   9.7°C   
Feels Like      2.4°C
Dew Point      5.3°C
Humidity           69%
Wind Gusts   72km/h
« Last Edit: August 18, 2018, 04:28:27 PM by Kev Murphy »
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Offline DavidP

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8780 on: August 18, 2018, 09:36:43 PM »
Whish we had some of that humidity here... air is dryer than Antarctica! (10% or less) here :-(  Glad days are warner though- mid 20s during day, but low single overnight.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8781 on: August 18, 2018, 10:21:57 PM »
Only light sprinkles here for most of today David, not much in the way of volume (2 mm), but enough that the cats refused to go outside.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8782 on: August 18, 2018, 10:27:05 PM »
Has rained here for 15 days of this month, for an August total of 66.8 mm so far.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8783 on: August 19, 2018, 12:35:12 AM »
The first five days after the weekend are the hardest days to get anything done.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8784 on: August 19, 2018, 12:45:40 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8785 on: August 19, 2018, 12:50:03 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8786 on: August 19, 2018, 01:11:14 AM »
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.

The guy who invented throat lozenges died last week.
There was no coffin at the funeral.

What happened when the semi-colon broke grammar laws?
He was given two consecutive sentences.

You know what really bugs me?
Insect puns.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8787 on: August 19, 2018, 01:21:10 AM »
Just got a bonus from Telstra. They have updated my monthly data from 1200 Gb per month (which I sometimes exceed) to UNLIMITED DATA at no extra charge!
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8788 on: August 19, 2018, 02:08:25 AM »
One day, I might join the 'Flat Earthers' ... I just haven't got around to it yet...
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8789 on: August 19, 2018, 01:23:39 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8790 on: August 19, 2018, 07:55:39 PM »
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!

Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get 7 years of bad luck!

Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8791 on: August 20, 2018, 08:31:10 PM »
.. he bought a chainsaw online...

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8792 on: August 21, 2018, 01:21:31 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8793 on: August 21, 2018, 01:36:56 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8794 on: August 21, 2018, 07:35:15 AM »
A bent-over old lady hobbled into a doctor's office.

Within minutes, she came out again but miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be.

A man in the waiting room who had been watching her said in amazement;

"My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?"
The old lady replied, "He gave me a longer cane!"

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8795 on: August 21, 2018, 07:36:29 AM »
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted.

She told the artist” Paint me with diamond earrings,

a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby brooch, and gold Rolex."

"But you are not wearing any of those things" replied the artist.

"I know," she said.

"It's in case I should die before my husband.

I'm sure he will remarry right away,

and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery."
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8796 on: August 21, 2018, 02:10:01 PM »
Worst  ...  Wurst Delivery Service...

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8797 on: August 21, 2018, 03:04:56 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8798 on: August 22, 2018, 12:39:55 AM »
In the beginning was the Plan.

And then came the Assumptions.

And the Assumptions were without form.

And darkness was upon the face of the Workers.

And they spoke among themselves, saying, "It is a crock of crap, and it stinketh."

And the workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a pail of dung, and none may abide the odour thereof."

And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying, "It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."

And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, "It is a vessel of fertiliser, and none may abide its strength."

And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."

And the Directors then went onto the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, "It promotes growth and is very powerful."

And the Vice Presidents went unto the President, saying unto him, "This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigour of the company; with powerful effects."

And the President looked upon the Plan, and saw that it was good.

And the Plan became Policy.

This is How Shit Happens.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8799 on: August 22, 2018, 01:00:39 AM »
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