Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 754423 times)

Offline Brock

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13950 on: September 13, 2019, 05:54:39 PM »
Quote
You will never see temples/mosques/churches with free WiFi.

Not quite correct Kev, this Thai Temple in the middle of a huge lake has free wifi..


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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13951 on: September 13, 2019, 06:43:51 PM »
Would a Japanese murder be an assasinasian?
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13952 on: September 13, 2019, 06:48:14 PM »
Jerusalem has a lot of petty crime. Thieves will steal anything not nailed down.

Has been going on for a couple of thousand years or more,

...which is why they even had to nail down Jesus.
 

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13953 on: September 13, 2019, 07:17:24 PM »
Would a Japanese murder be an assasinasian?

No, it'd be a satsujinjiken.
 
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Offline NTRebel

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13954 on: September 13, 2019, 07:24:00 PM »
Jerusalem has a lot of petty crime. Thieves will steal anything not nailed down.

Has been going on for a couple of thousand years or more,

...which is why they even had to nail down Jesus.

And they still managed to steal him.
I'm not strange i'm just not normal {Salvador Dahli}
 
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Offline Shillas

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13955 on: September 13, 2019, 10:52:26 PM »
A drilled hole has been discovered in the nudist camps fence.

Police say they are looking into it.
Shillas :dred11  :13Candy

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Offline Shillas

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13956 on: September 13, 2019, 10:58:47 PM »
I went to Bunnings today to buy some bolts.

The girl there asked "How long do you want them?".

I said "Actually, I was hoping to keep them".
Shillas :dred11  :13Candy

The 2022 National Rally will be held in South Australia 2 - 4 September 2022 in Mannum on the banks of Murrundi (the Murray River). Make it yours as a destination, plan now!

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Online Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13957 on: September 14, 2019, 01:07:50 AM »
She must have been nuts.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13958 on: September 14, 2019, 07:27:13 AM »
Volatile...

A boy asked his dad for $10 worth of bitcoin
"$9.57? Why do you need $11.48? What the hell you gonna buy for $7.32 anyway?"
 

Offline Shillas

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13959 on: September 14, 2019, 07:36:38 AM »
Another time I went to Bunnings some bloke in a red apron asked if I wanted decking.

Luckily I got the first punch in.
Shillas :dred11  :13Candy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13960 on: September 14, 2019, 07:47:28 AM »
Did you then crush his nuts in a vice?

Lowest vices are just the beginning.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13961 on: September 14, 2019, 09:32:43 AM »
This girl was handing out vegan pamphlets, when she said she recognised me.


I said I never met herbivore.
 

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13962 on: September 14, 2019, 09:34:47 AM »
A boy asked his mother
"Mommy, why are you white, and I'm black?"

Mommy replied "Son, the way things were going at that party, you're lucky that you don't bark!"
 

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13963 on: September 14, 2019, 12:24:49 PM »
I was walking by the fridge last night, and I thought I could hear the spring onions singing a BeeGees song.

Turns out it was just the chives talking.
 

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I started a joke.
« Reply #13964 on: September 14, 2019, 12:30:05 PM »
  Talk about night fever.  It's just a tragedy.   You should be dancing. 
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13965 on: September 14, 2019, 02:11:55 PM »
I once dated a girl with a twin.
We all know the immediate fantasy that springs to mind, and so i thought i'd ask.
I asked if they would BOTH like to have lunch and a couple of drinks with me, and they agreed.

It was a wonderful experience, and her twin is a really nice guy.
 

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13966 on: September 14, 2019, 05:18:09 PM »
Advertising Declaration.

"Our products are not tested on animals"

Besides, it would look pretty stupid, to see a dog wearing Nike runners and a condom.
 

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13967 on: September 14, 2019, 05:57:25 PM »
They need to get a grig.  That would be a stretch.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13968 on: September 14, 2019, 07:33:00 PM »
a grig?
 

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13969 on: September 14, 2019, 07:35:42 PM »
Spring is finally here


The gardener got so excited he wet his plants.
 

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13970 on: September 14, 2019, 07:37:04 PM »
a grig?

I meant grip.  Hopefully you're merry as a grig.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13971 on: September 14, 2019, 07:37:42 PM »
Spring is finally here
The gardener got so excited he wet his plants.

Stinky Pete has a spring water tap in his back yard.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13972 on: September 14, 2019, 07:38:04 PM »
 ++ :grin
 

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13973 on: September 14, 2019, 07:39:01 PM »

Stinky Pete has a spring water tap in his back yard.

Well well well! ...
 

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13974 on: September 14, 2019, 10:20:19 PM »
A husband and wife were asleep in bed one evening when the phone rang loudly and woke them up.
Annoyed, the wife crawled out of bed and picked it up.

“Hello?!” she answered with irritation. “How would I know? We live in the middle of the city, you idiot!”

She hung up the phone and fell back into bed.

“Who was that?” the husband asked groggily.

“Dunno ... Some stupid woman asking if the coast was clear!”