Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 5865463 times)

Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15825 on: December 30, 2019, 08:26:32 AM »
Two druggies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine.

One of them now has a dodgy tikka and the other is in a korma.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15826 on: December 30, 2019, 10:01:14 AM »
Am doing a little 'fine tuning' to the bike this week, just little things, preparing for next weekends trip.
Have already organised for my buddy to feed the cats while I am away.

Leaving here on Friday morning to go visit Russ and Sue in Korumburra, and then back to Jd and Chippy for a visit on Saturday.

Naturally, the silver STrawberry express will be loaded appropriately, and I am looking fwd to getting some reasonable distance rides under the belt again. I have been sedentary for far too long.  :hatwave
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15827 on: December 30, 2019, 06:42:05 PM »
After a toasty 36 degrees here today, a cool change came thru this afternoon.

Its now a very comfortable 17 degrees, with a noisy thunderstorm rumbling closer from the southwest.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15828 on: December 30, 2019, 06:50:32 PM »
Hmmm??

According to an email just in, the 'FBI ARE COMING TO BE ARREST ME FOR MUCH SPEED ON 710 FREEWAY NEAR LOS ANGELES LAST WEEK.'
But I can be immediately paying US$494.95 fine with iTunes card, to cancel arrest from FBI.

Well, that's nice of them? I thought they would have better things to do than chase traffic violations.

I wasn't aware that the FBI had an office in Nagpur, India.
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Online ruSTynutz

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15829 on: December 30, 2019, 07:17:39 PM »
After a toasty 36 degrees here today, a cool change came thru this afternoon.

Its now a very comfortable 17 degrees, with a noisy thunderstorm rumbling closer from the southwest.

According to my weather station, it got to 41c here.  Light rain now and the temperature has dropped to 24c...  :thumbsup

  2005 Honda ST1300A
 
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15830 on: December 30, 2019, 07:30:14 PM »
Aircraft production has ceased since Boeing produced their latest ground-breaking design.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15831 on: December 30, 2019, 07:31:04 PM »
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.
“Yes,” he said. “My father taught me.”

“Good. What comes after three?”

“Four,” answered the boy.

“What comes after six?”

“Seven.”

“Very good,” said the teacher. “Your dad did a good job. And what comes after 10?”

“Jack.”
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15832 on: December 30, 2019, 08:28:19 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15833 on: December 30, 2019, 08:53:33 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15834 on: December 30, 2019, 08:56:11 PM »
They say "Age is just a number"

WRONG!. Age is a word.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15835 on: December 30, 2019, 11:12:33 PM »
Why do German girls all have the same phone number?

Seriously, every one of them I ask says "9! 9! 9!"
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15836 on: December 31, 2019, 12:07:03 AM »
A man walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied: “Shingles.”
So she wrote down his name, address and phone number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse came out and asked the man what he had. The man said: “Shingles!"

So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later another nurse came in and asked him what he had. The man said: “Shingles!!"

So the nurse gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found the man sitting patiently in the nude and asked him what he had.

The man said: “Shingles!!!”

The doctor asked: “What makes you so sure?”

The man answered: “ They're outside on the truck!!! Where do you want me to unload them?”
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15837 on: December 31, 2019, 04:50:00 PM »
Down at the beach today I asked this girl what her new year's resoltion is? She said "screw you", so I am pretty excited for 2020. 



disclaimer:
I toned it down from what I posted on instagram hoping to avoid the norty corner.
 
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15838 on: December 31, 2019, 04:50:12 PM »
How many vegans does it take to eat a hamburger?


Depends if anyone is looking.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15839 on: December 31, 2019, 04:55:47 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15840 on: December 31, 2019, 05:02:53 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15841 on: December 31, 2019, 08:30:37 PM »
Jack was deeply involved in finishing a report for an upcoming board meeting when his wife called.

She said "I have good news, and I have bad news."

Because of the deadline, Jack asked if she could just give him the good news.

The wife replied "Okay, the good news is that the air bags work."
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15842 on: December 31, 2019, 09:08:26 PM »
Early NY fireworks have started here, and my cats are asking "What the hell is that?"

I only live two blocks away from the beachfront where the display is.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15843 on: January 01, 2020, 02:21:11 AM »
A man and his best buddy are driving around. The best buddy finally says "Listen, I gotta ask, how long have you been wearing that bra?"

The man, frowning, responds "Ever since my wife found it under the seat ."
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15844 on: January 01, 2020, 02:35:10 AM »
The story of the engaged friend:
"The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and he said, 'You are the woman of my dreams...I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long."


The story of the mistress friend:
"Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat. Under it only the black bra, heels and a mask over my eyes.
When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night."


The story of the married friend:
"When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a black mask over my eyes.
When he walked in the door and saw me he said. 'What's for dinner Zorro?'"
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15845 on: January 01, 2020, 05:58:32 AM »
Just had a big fight with my wife.

That woman fights for no reason at all.
We were both excited and about to make love.
She removed her jeans and then her top.

Then the fight started when I asked, "Why are you wearing you sister's bra?"
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15846 on: January 01, 2020, 06:07:50 AM »
I had a great conversation with a dolphin the other day.

We just ... ummm ... I dunno? ... we just clicked.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15847 on: January 01, 2020, 06:09:12 AM »
I had a great conversation with a dolphin the other day.

We just ... ummm ... I dunno? ... we just clicked.

Kev:  What's that Flipper?

Flipper:  I asked why you are wearing your sister's bra.
 

Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15848 on: January 01, 2020, 07:38:56 AM »
 :rofl

Does a dolphin's butler serve any porpoise?
« Last Edit: January 01, 2020, 09:47:26 AM by Kev Murphy »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15849 on: January 01, 2020, 09:42:53 AM »
The frightening scale of current Australian fires. Click image to enlarge.

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