Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5582266 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9875 on:** November 26, 2018, 01:16:30 PM »

This one is a bit subtle, people who have visited Asia will pick up on it immediately.... listen carefully..

Tuk tuk vs motor cycle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EB-ovrkNVaI

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9876 on:** November 26, 2018, 05:55:12 PM »

NTRebel · « **Reply #9877 on:** November 26, 2018, 06:36:14 PM »

What did the ocean say to the shore. Nothing it just waved.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9878 on:** November 26, 2018, 06:49:29 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9879 on:** November 26, 2018, 10:14:55 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9880 on:** November 26, 2018, 10:27:13 PM »

Bill Shorten said he has created 3,000 new jobs in the last month.

Yeah, they're called campaign workers for the upcoming Federal Election.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9881 on:** November 26, 2018, 10:27:54 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9882 on:** November 27, 2018, 02:52:02 AM »

WOMEN WITH BIG BREASTS...

...can get a taxi on the worst days
...have a neat place to carry spare change
...make jogging a spectator sport
...can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub
...have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them)
...usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie
...can always carry a little extra
...always float better
...know where to look first for lost earrings
...rarely lack for a slow dance partner
...have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner

WOMEN WITH LITTLE BREASTS...

...don't cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public
...always look younger
...find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap
...can always see their toes and shoes
...can sleep on their stomachs
...have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars
...know that people can read the entire message on their t-shirts
...know that everything more than a handful is wasted
...can come late to a theatre and not disrupt an entire aisle
...can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9883 on:** November 27, 2018, 02:58:52 AM »

North Korea are testing nuclear weapons.

Why? Don't worry Korea! ... Nobody wants to get you.

That's like Pauline Hanson buying a rape alarm and mace.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9884 on:** November 27, 2018, 09:55:13 AM »

You know, if Michael Jackson had stuck to grabbing his own crotch, he may not have needed all those medications which killed him?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9885 on:** November 27, 2018, 09:59:38 AM »

One of the benefits of advanced age.

I really want to complain, but I've forgotten what I want to complain about?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9886 on:** November 27, 2018, 10:04:56 AM »

I poured just the right amount of cereal into my bowl, but there was so little left in the box
for breakfast tomorrow, that I had to pour and eat the rest of it too.

Now I feel bloated.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9887 on:** November 27, 2018, 10:06:41 AM »

I accidentally wore a red shirt to Target, now people won't stop asking me where to find stuff.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9888 on:** November 27, 2018, 10:12:18 AM »

My ex and I grew together.

I grew up, she grew sideways.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9889 on:** November 27, 2018, 01:49:32 PM »

Concrete footpath in front of my flat was replaced yesterday.

5 different jerks tagged their name into the wet concrete, one was a Maori girl aged about 15.

I was able to remove most of the damage before the concrete set.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9890 on:** November 27, 2018, 01:57:48 PM »

Interesting...?

This thread has averaged 230 hits per day for the past 3 years.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9891 on:** November 27, 2018, 02:06:47 PM »

Did you hear about the new Helen Keller Doll?

You wind her up and she bumps into the furniture!

Wild Rose · « **Reply #9892 on:** November 27, 2018, 02:46:36 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on November 27, 2018, 01:57:48 PM

Interesting...?

This thread has averaged 230 hits per day for the past 3 years.

richo · « **Reply #9893 on:** November 27, 2018, 06:57:04 PM »

Goes to prove that dad jokes last forever.

. Well done Kev. Another record

NTRebel · « **Reply #9894 on:** November 27, 2018, 07:05:37 PM »

What did the grape do when it was stepped on. Let out a little wine.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9895 on:** November 27, 2018, 07:06:10 PM »

Thanks Richo.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9896 on:** November 27, 2018, 07:10:05 PM »

Yep yep Paul... wives here have a meeting each week in a room below the local thrift shop.

The hubbys call it the ''Whine Cellar"

NTRebel · « **Reply #9897 on:** November 27, 2018, 09:52:26 PM »

I had a dream last night that I was a muffler I woke up exhausted.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9898 on:** November 27, 2018, 09:53:57 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9899 on:** November 27, 2018, 09:59:44 PM »

What the hell is wrong with Australian Politics?

... it's now been 3 months since we had a new Prime Minister!

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5582266 times)